Blue Christmas
by ss9
Summary: Post The Forgotten, it's been six months since Missy and The Doctor left with the time tots but things haven't gone the way either of them expected. Could a surprise call from Mrs Who actually be the catalyst for setting these two star crossed time lords back on track or will it all combust in time to make it a memorable first Christmas for more than just the twins?
1. Chapter 1

-/-

Time really lost its meaning in the vortex. Still as a Lord of Time The Doctor was ever aware of the swirl of chaos that was outside the Tardis, the winds of time that buffeted their little haven much like a ship upon one of Earth's seas. Yet it didn't require the extra sensory skills of a Time Lord to measure the passage of time inside the Tardis they had two very rambunctious measures that gauged that quite nicely all by themselves.

One of which was stubbornly staring up at her father as he tried for the umpteenth time to get her to settle. Yet Mae, the nickname had unfortunately stuck, had inherited more than just her mother's bright blue eyes but her stubbornness as well. Six months old and already she had him wrapped around her little finger, not that The Doctor would change that for a second.

Some other things however…the weight of that choice hung like an albatross around his neck or more to the point a hefty weight in his jacket pocket…well that was still in his power to change but perhaps it was already too late?

Humming a Gallifreyan lullaby The Doctor paced the nursery, back and forth, back and forth trying to fight his own urge to curl up and sleep for a while. Adult Time Lords may need far more less sleep than a human did but they did still need to rest, something a little difficult to come by with twins.

"Still awake I take it?" A familiar voice observed from the doorway and The Doctor glanced over his shoulder to where a messy haired pyjama shirt wearing Missy was lounging against the frame.

"Is that my shirt?" The Doctor huffed in mock irritation doing his best not to stare at the long bare legs on display. "Aren't you cold?"

"With the way you have the heating all cranked up in here hardly." Missy tutted running her fingers over the buttons of her oversized shirt. "I only borrowed it after Sam spat up on my nightdress, of course if you want it back…" She teased unfastening the first button.

"No Missy not in front of the children!" The Doctor all but spluttered cuddling Mae closer and shielding her from her mother's display.

"Oh honestly Thete she is six months old she barely knows what her feet are." Missy huffed unable to completely hide her disappointment yet she wasn't exactly surprised by his reaction.

Things had been different than she had expected, not bad, certainly not unfeeling but despite occasional gestures of tenderness there had been none of the intimacy Missy had expected. Perhaps it was her? Perhaps she had expected too much too soon, had pushed him for the type of relationship she expected without considerations for her Doctor's preferences. It wasn't exactly a secret that he was far from fond of too much physical contact.

"She is a Time Lady of course she knows what her feet are!" The Doctor retorted offended on his daughter's behalf. "Silly mummy eh Mae." The Doctor teased his daughter tickling her stomach with his fingertips and relishing her giggle.

"And you wonder why she won't go to sleep Dear." Missy sighed shaking her head, crossing the room and relieving The Doctor of his precious burden. Ignoring his protests and that of her child who had already worked out that Daddy was the easy touch.

"Go rest will you, honestly you'll be no use to anyone if you are dead on your feet. And by rest I mean rest properly in a bed, so I'd better not find you tinkering under the console."

Conceding defeat The Doctor brushed his hand gently against Missy's cheek before bending down and pressing a kiss to his daughter's forehead, he would gladly leave Mother and daughter to their battle of wills. Missy currently was winning but The Doctor anticipated there would come a day soon when Mae would outlast her, she did have a distinct advantage, as for all Missy's will power she was only human…

-/-


	2. Chapter 2

-/-

Missy had long come to the realisation that as soon as one child would settle the other would indubitably wake to test her patience and drive her grey. Sam by contrast to his sister was normally the easy child, normally happy to simply lie back and absorb the world around him through those large blue grey eyes of his. Only normally doesn't apply apparently when it comes to teething infants.

Gritting her own teeth Missy made another round of the Tardis console. So far Sam had chewed his way through the traditional teething ring and was currently drooling over a spare circuit board that Missy had found lying about, she only hoped it wasn't for something important. Well if it was that would teach The Doctor a lesson about leaving things out where the twins could get their hands on them.

Wincing as Sam's cries notched up into a new decibel range Missy stared longingly at the dematerialisation controls. It would be so easy. She didn't need The Doctor to pilot the Tardis Missy knew what each button on that dash was supposed to do without instruction, even if staring at the Gallifreyan display for too long caused her head to ache. She just needed some air, being cooped up in the time vortex wasn't doing any good for her sanity.

And it need only be for a few moments…she could always wipe the display afterwards The doctor need never know….

Her hands moved automatically as with a life of their own, dancing over the switches as she plotted in the destination she had in mind, remembering to switch off the brakes before she depressed the lever. The Tardis shuddered a little as they landed but it was a smooth enough landing and Missy didn't wait a moment before she was pushing open the doors and breathing in the clean crisp oxygen rich air. Even Sam was impressed as he stopped his crying to gaze up at the dark sky above him.

"That is how stars are meant to look dear one." Missy instructed him hovering on the threshold of the Tardis as she breathed in the scent of pine and snow. "And that big glowey thing is the moon Sam, see how bright it is."

Taking one step outside and then another Missy was relieved to find her slippers provided enough protection, there was a fine covering of snow in the forest but it was only a few inches deep. Closing her eyes Missy drew in a lungful of the fresh cold air and held it in her lungs until they burned.

"What do you think you are doing?!" An angry Scottish voice demanded from behind her and Missy cursed her luck.

"Taking some air Dear." Missy replied lightly not bothering to look behind her, she could already picture The Doctor's red face and his eyebrows were probably shooting up and down his face like the little flippers in a pinball machine.

"It's…You…Get inside this instant!" The Doctor demanded glancing around the dark forest as though expecting some dangerous slavering beast to suddenly appear.

"I will when I want to. Forgive me but I am not in any hurry to return to my prison." Missy retorted, knowing full well she was taunting the beast and yet unable to stop herself, there was just something so wonderfully satisfying and familiar about thwarting The Doctor.

A moment later The Doctor was at her elbow. "We've talked about this…"

"No you've talked, at length, on and on and on." Missy huffed rolling her eyes as The Doctor tried to usher her back inside only she wasn't budging, if he wanted her back in the damn Tardis so badly he was just going to have to carry her in. "And on and on…"

"For good reason since it seems you never listen to a word I say!" The Doctor spat. "Risking your own life is one thing Missy but to risk our child…."

"How dare you!" Missy was up in The Doctor's face before he could even dare to finish that sentence, blue eyes blazing in righteous fury. "I have already proven the lengths I will go to for our children Doctor! So please do not even embarrass yourself by finishing that sentence."

Chastened by Missy's reproach The Doctor rubbed his neck awkwardly as he bowed his head unable to meet her gaze for a moment. "I'm sorry."

"I should think you are."

"I…I just worry. You know how dangerous it is for them to be outside of the vortex, they're just too young and I can't protect you all the time." The Doctor confessed awkwardly, raising his gaze to stare sheepishly at her from beneath his shaggy eyebrows. "I can't lose you…any of you." He added as Missy's anger towards him seemed to cool slightly.

"Well I suppose your motives mean well." Missy huffed, her pout now more for effect than out of lasting pique. "Not that a girl would know it from the way you act sometimes."

A shy smile tugging on his lips The Doctor slipped an arm around Missy's waist and tugged her closer. "So why snow?"

"Well I was hot and ready to scream so it seemed like a good idea at the time." Missy retorted before happily burrowing into The Doctor's warm velvet jacket, sighing in pleasure as his other arm came up to wrap around her shoulders.

Pressing his cheek against the top of Missy's head The Doctor relished the simple pleasure of holding her and his now sleeping son. "Are you ready to come back in now?"

"In a minute." Missy pleaded turning her bright blue eyes on him in force and watching as The Doctor struggled with conflicting priorities. "Just a minute more I promise?"

Sighing The Doctor nodded, stepping back and unbuttoning his coat draping it around Missy's cold shoulders. "Fine one more minute, here let me take him back inside it is too cold for him."

Willingly relinquishing her son into his father's arms Missy reached up and laid her hand against The Doctor's cheek.

"Hmm perhaps then you could come back and help warm me up?" Missy teased before pushing herself up on to her tip toes and pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. For a moment The Doctor kissed her back but then Missy pulled away and for a moment The Doctor swung as if to follow her then he suddenly stopped.

"I…I should…Hot chocolate…I'll make us some hot chocolate, just the thing after being out in the snow." The Doctor stuttered backing towards the open Tardis doors as a heat infused his cheeks that had nothing whatsoever to do with the cold.

"One Minute now, not a second more!" He added sternly in an effort to collect himself, yet the way he actually bumped into the closed door more than slightly undermined that.

Unable to completely contain her giggle Missy could barely manage a composed reply yet somehow she did manage to roll her eyes at his predictability. "Yes Dear."

In the end Missy lasted little more than thirty seconds. It really was cold and hot chocolate did sound rather good, and perhaps she could persuade The Doctor that some time snuggled in the library just the two of them was in order?

Stepping back inside Missy shuddered at the sudden heat, shrugging off The Doctor's jacket and hanging it over the railing by the console. Reaching for the controls she was just pulling the dematerialisation lever when.

Rinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng…..Rinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng…..

The phone was ringing. Not just any phone the Tardis phone.

Frowning Missy left the console and marched back to the main doors, wrenching them open she fumbled with the hatch and reaching inside lifted the old fashioned receiver. Before she even had time to speak the person on the other end was speaking."

"Hello Sweetie."

"Sorry wrong number." Missy huffed setting the phone receiver down yet before she could close the door it was ringing again.

Now more than a little cross Missy wrenched the receiver back up. "Listen lady I already told you you have the wrong number!" Yet Missy's rant was cut off by one word.

"Doctor?"

-/-


	3. Chapter 3

-/-

How much sugar was meant to go in hot chocolate? Pausing as he was about to put the fifth teaspoon in The Doctor stared down into the dark glossy looking mixture as if staring into it would suddenly give him the answer. Although right now there was more than one answer he could use a crystal ball to discern.

He could still taste her on his lips, and it would take more than chocolate to drown out that taste. It was getting harder and harder to resist when she did that, a difficulty compounded by the fact that deep down The Doctor didn't want to stop her, not really…in fact he wanted quite the opposite. Only he couldn't…it wouldn't be right…he was already doing wrong by Missy for his own selfish reasons and other not so selfish reasons but it was mainly for himself and less about protecting the rest of the universe if he was being honest.

A human Missy he could mostly predict and control. A human Missy was mostly sane and almost good and with the higher scientific knowledge of the Time Lords safely locked away the universe was safe. A human Missy wanted both him and the children which was not something her Time Lady counterpart wanted, if she had then Missy would never have tried to rescue their children alone.

With her Time Lord essence returned all bets would be off and The Doctor was self-effacing enough to admit that it was the last that had him holding on to her fob watch, dithering on the edge of returning it and then not. She claimed to love him and he wanted it to be true, with every fibre of his being he wanted to believe it, that it was really Missy speaking and not merely a human interpretation of a relationship far too complicated for their primitive minds to comprehend.

Back and forth…it even plagued him in his dreams.

One day he would do it, he would, he would The Doctor swore it. He couldn't bear the thought of her dying and leaving him alone in the universe. Was it so much to ask for her to live one human lifetime at his side before having to let her go?

Yes it was. Deep down even The Doctor knew he was wrong, what he was doing was wrong, and yet he couldn't find the strength to stop, to let her go. Who was he trying to kid The Doctor couldn't even find the strength he needs to keep her at arm's length. He kept trying to hold back from her touches and kisses to not respond and mostly he succeeded but there were times like tonight when she would look at him and…

*Smack*

Wet cold and trickling down the back of his collar.

Jumping out of his skin The Doctor narrowly avoided scolding himself with the mug of hot chocolate he knocked clean over as he turned around to face his attacker.

*Smack*

This time he got a face full of freezing compacted snow. "Missy that is not…" The Doctor began testily as he brushed the rapidly melting mush from his face but then he caught sight of her face and the expression of absolute loathing literally caused his hearts to stop beating for a moment.

No she couldn't…he had only left her for a few seconds…why would she feel any need to go through his pockets anyway?

"You complete lying bastard." Missy growled and having run out of snowballs instead settled for any kitchen utensil she could lay her hands on, a spatula, a tea spoon, the pot of sugar, each of which he flung in The Doctors general direction, particularly enjoying the smashing noise the sugar pot made when it hit the wall.

"Missy I can explain." The Doctor babbled his mind a mess as he scrambled for something…anything… "I was going to tell you, I didn't mean to keep it from you…but I just didn't want to lose you."

"Bullshit." Missy retorted eyeing the kitchen knife set with a disturbing glint that made The Doctor suddenly very nervous.

"And to think all this time I thought it was me, I thought I was pushing you, I thought perhaps if I backed off and we took things slower…but it was never about me Doctor was it? All I have ever been is a pair of extra hands, an unpaid nanny who just so happens to be genetically related. No wonder you never invited me to travel with you, no wonder I had to virtually push you into it, you didn't want me here cramping your style."

"What?" The Doctor scrunched up his brow now he was genuinely confused. "No Missy I always wanted you here, I have asked you many times to travel with me and I meant it."

"Oh really so what you just got tired of waiting did you, I suppose she was just a mistake?" Missy scoffed. "Well I am not that stupid Doctor people don't go around marrying their mistakes."

"Marrying…"

"Yes marrying Sweetie." Missy retorted her blue eyes blazing as the confusion in The Doctor's eyes lifted and the terrible truth was confirmed. "Your wife is on the phone.

"River." Oh now that was a complication The Doctor had honestly never expected to have to deal with, and yet one he really should have anticipated. "Missy I…I can explain…"

Taking a step towards Missy The Doctor shouldn't have been surprised when Missy seized one of the knives from the block. Well perhaps that explanation could wait a little while, like until The Doctor had secured all of the potential weapons in the Tardis. Oh who was he kidding The Mistress could have turned the most benign of items into a weapon of mass destruction and Missy was barely two steps behind her, and what she lacked in knowledge she more than made up for with human creativity.

And besides Missy had said River "is" on the phone and not "was", River never called unless it was something important.

Sighing as he felt torn in two conflicting directions The Doctor hesitated yet Missy's glare told him there was nothing he could say now that would appease her…no he would wait until she calmed down and then try and explain how he hadn't actually seen his wife in over a thousand years and that even then she had been dead.

Turning his back The Doctor missed the way the knife fell from Missy's hand the moment he left the kitchen to go answer his wife's call.

"Well at least I know now why you never told me you loved me back." Missy muttered to herself clenching her fists to stop them from lashing out and making an impossible situation worse, yet right now it was hard to believe how things could actually get any worse.

-/-


	4. Chapter 4

—/—

If Missy had been born human she would have course have known that things could always get worse and that the very fact of stating that things surely couldn't get any worse was practically a guarantee that they would. Yet even if she had known this the degree to which things deteriorated would have still been a surprise.

"You are what?"

Cringing in the face of Missy's ice cold façade The Doctor fiddled with the dials on the console. "Missy I am not going to repeat myself I know you heard me the first time."

"Yes." The exhale was long and harsh as if forced through gritted teeth. "I heard you only I chose to believe this was some sort of early April fool prank or perhaps you were finally going senile, nothing else would make any sense Dear!"

The familiar endearment was now anything but loving and The Doctor felt it cutting into his hearts yet even Missy's coldness couldn't make him change his mind. River had sounded rather panicked on the phone and the line had cut out in the end but The Doctor had distinctly heard the sound of an explosion before it had. He had no choice, he had to go and help, he wouldn't be able to forgive himself if he simply stood by and did nothing.

"I mean you've kept us locked up in the time vortex for six months because it's not safe to leave and yet now because your wife is in danger…" Missy sneered, if there was one word she abused more than Dear it was Wife, from her lips the word wife was positively dripping in bile. "Your double standards are truly breath-taking Darling."

"Missy I am not going to explain this again. River was a part of my life a long time ago, she saved my life on many occasions, and I owe her the same protection in return. I cannot turn my back when she has approached me for help and yes she is my wife, I can't change that and I wouldn't want to!" The Doctor snapped back, regretting his harsh tone when Missy actually flinched.

Fixing a pleading expression on his face The Doctor tried to convey his regret for his outburst visually since his normally reliable words seemed to be failing him today. He reached out, fingertips brushing the exposed skin of her forearm, pleased and surprised when she didn't immediately pull away.

"Please…please Missy just try to understand, this doesn't have to affect us. I will just go and find her and drop her off somewhere." The Doctor stroked his fingers down over the soft skin of her wrist; he didn't even need to extend his senses to feel the waves of grief and fury coming off of her.

If he thought it would do a bit of good The Doctor might have tried to calm her the way he did the twins when they were particularly distraught, yet even human Missy still had a particularly resistant mind to telepathic influences.

"Us? What us?" Missy chuckled bitterly hanging her head and stubbornly refusing to allow The Doctor to see just how badly he had managed to hurt her.

"We live together; we co-parent and let's be honest Doctor that is about it. That is all you will let us be and at least now I know why, you're married."

"Missy it's not like that…it's not that simple." The Doctor replied gently as is coaxing a frightened filly. "Of course there is an us, and I am sorry you are hurt by this I am…"

"But not enough to stop." Missy summarised it simply savouring his touch for a moment before deliberately pulling her arm free and moving to place some much needed space between them.

"You don't want to hurt me but you will anyway because in the end your need to do the "right thing", to play the hero, is more important than my feelings and you just expect me to accept it because you know I love you. Well I am sorry Doctor I am not one of your oh so gullible companions, I know I deserve better, and I won't accept you running off to another woman and expecting me just to wait around for you."

"Missy…"

"No!" Missy snapped cutting him off before he could find the right words, the words that might crumble her resolve. "No Doctor no more excuses, if you are determined to do this then you can drop me and the children off first. Take me to visit Osgood there at least I will be welcome."

"But it's not safe out there." The Doctor stuttered eyebrows shooting up to practically merge with his hairline. "You could get hurt…"

"I am already hurt." Missy countered glaring at him, watching with some satisfaction as The Doctor actually looked physically pained at her words. "And if you force me to stay here believe me then it certainly won't be safe in the Tardis either, only it won't be external threats you need to be worrying about."

He wanted to argue, he wanted to refuse to do as she asked and yet The Doctor knew it would be futile to try and change her mind now. Besides Missy wasn't his prisoner, he couldn't keep her here against her will, even if his own instincts were screaming at him to lock her up deep in the Tardis until this was all over.

"I won't force you." The Doctor replied sadly. "But I will beg you not to do this. I know you are angry with me but please don't put the children at risk becau…"

In retrospect he really should have expected the slap.

It was hard enough to rattle his teeth.

Yet as The Doctor watched Missy march away deep into the Tardis leaving him alone with his throbbing jaw for company The Doctor could only suppose that despite her anger Missy must still love him deep down, otherwise it would have been a clenched fist.

—/—


	5. Chapter 5

—/—

Cold…

Standing on the threshold of the Tardis Missy shivered. They had materialised in the evening and judging by the gaudy decorations liberally plastered across the opposite building it had to be December.

Turning on her heel Missy ignored the sudden hopeful look on The Doctor's face as she stepped back into the Tardis, in some way she gained a measure of satisfaction as his eyes suddenly brightened and a half hopeful smile began to tug at his lips as she stepped back up to the console.

She watched out of the corner of her eye as he actually moved as if to approach her, hand reaching out and for a moment she was almost tempted to take it. It hurt hurting him like this and yet another part of her seemed to get such a kick out of it, he made it so damn easy to hate him just as it was to love him.

That smile quickly began to fade as Missy reached for his velvet jacket that earlier she had left draped over the banister and wrapped it firmly around the already buttoned up twins as extra protection from the elements.

"It's cold; you don't want them to get sick do you?" Missy huffed when The Doctor seemed ready to protest at his beloved coat being used as little more than a baby blanket.

Swallowing down his kneejerk response that Time Lords didn't get sick from silly little sniffles like mere humans did The Doctor could only sigh as Missy once more stomped off in the direction of the open doors.

"I'll be back before you have time to worry I promise." The Doctor called after his departing family, unable to completely quash the growing feeling of panic. A feeling that grew as Missy didn't even reply or show any sign she was even listening.

Well then actions would have to speak louder than words. The Doctor had no intention of leaving them on earth for longer than five minutes , Osgood would probably barely have time to boil the kettle before he would be back to pick them up. With that in mind The Doctor made a point of saving the coordinates, there now even the Tardis couldn't scramble them or lose them by accident.

Darting after Missy as she made it through the door The Doctor literally came up short as the door was slammed shut in his face. Pressing his forehead against the smooth surface The Doctor resisted the growing urge to punch something himself, yet none of this was the Tardis's fault.

Outside the doors Missy paused, waiting and hoping that the doors would open and The Doctor would come to his senses. That he would finally prove to her that her and the twins meant more than his past and the ever present pull towards the nomadic lifestyle he had once loved. Closing her eyes she forced herself not to plead, the universe didn't care and Missy didn't believe in any divine intervention.

The familiar whooshing noise of the Tardis dematerialising shattered the remaining fragments of her hope.

Who was she kidding The Doctor had made his choice and it wasn't his family, it never was. Blinking back bitter tears Missy gritted her teeth and stomped up to the door that led to Osgood's flat. Pressing the buzzer Missy huffed when there was no answer. It was late and dark where the hell was Skip? Shouldn't she be collapsed on the sofa watching Star Trek reruns?

Liberating the sonic screwdriver from the pocket of The Doctor's coat Missy quickly let them in; Osgood wouldn't mind and besides Missy couldn't stand around in the cold all night waiting for her.

—/—

She couldn't quite stop laughing; leaning against her doorframe Osgood could feel her cheeks burning with the cold and the need to breathe. Was this how other people felt? This total lack of awkward and just a sense of joy in being with another person?

"So are you going to invite me up?" Tess asked tucking a strand of her auburn hair behind her ear.

Swallowing nervously Osgood could only nod not trusting her voice right at this moment as she fumbled in her pocket for her keys. Don't mess this up, don't mess this up, she repeated as a mantra in her head even as her hand shook until Tess reached out and covered her hand with her own.

"Hey we can just crash out and watch trash of TV you know I don't have any expectations."

Biting her lip Osgood tried her best to find the words, yes she was scared out of her wits right now but it was a good scared. "I want…I mean if you…I do…I'm just afraid I'll mess it up."

"There is nothing wrong with a little mess." Tess replied winking suggestively. "Mess can be fun." And then she kissed her.

Breathing in the kiss and the tang of spice that lingered on Tess's lips from the spicy salsa she had pigged out of earlier Osgood somehow managed to turn the key in the door. They somehow managed to make it up the flight of stairs in between kisses. Reaching her flat door Osgood moaned as she was pressed up against the wooden door hands moving everywhere and only fanning the flames.

Yet the door opened without Osgood needing to unlock it and the lip locked pair practically fell into the flat, tumbling over each other and landing in a human pile of limbs on the hallway floor.

Grumbling as she fished around for her lost glasses it took a moment for Osgood to spot the pair of heeled boots tapping expectantly, then to follow them up with growing dread and realisation up a pair of skinny jean clad legs to a familiar face that looked torn between amusement and irritation.

"Missy!"

—/—


	6. Chapter 6

-/-

"And then he just left!"

Leaning back Osgood did her best to avoid the flailing arm as she did her best to keep out of reach of the sloshing tea cup, the last thing her or little Miss Mae needed on top of that surprise was to be scolded as well. Still it could have been worse; at least she hadn't opened the wine. An angry ranting Missy was one thing, an angry pissed ranting Missy and she would need to alert the military.

"What he left you on the street with two babies and just took off?"

Ouch

A sharp pull with alien strength on her loose hair had Osgood swallowing a rude word. Not for the first time this evening she might add, she had smothered more than one or two after Missy's sudden arrival derailed her original plans for the evening.

"Yes without so much as a goodbye!"

One thing that certainly hadn't changed when Missy had become human was her love of playing to an audience and Tess was ably providing that much to Osgood's own annoyance. Her sort of…fine her girlfriend was making all the right noises in all the right places and didn't seem in the slightest put out that what was meant to be their evening had been gate-crashed by some crazy brunette and her demon children.

"Missy could you?" Osgood pleaded eyes brimming with tears as Mae's tugging turned into some vicious tug of war and Osgood could literally feel each individual hair being ripped out from the root.

Rolling her eyes at having her story cut off just when it was getting to the good bit Missy leant forward and untangled Mae's little fingers from her Skip's messy locks. "No sweetie don't hurt the Pet."

Osgood caught Tess's confused glance yet this was hardly the time to explain just why Missy called her that amongst her other menagerie of nicknames. Besides she was just relieved to have the mini Missy taken away before she went bald, a relief that lasted all of a few seconds before a drooling Sam was plonked down in her lap and proceeded to slobber all over the nice silky blouse that Kate had given her for an early Christmas present.

"So what are you going to do?" Tess asked taking a sip of her tea, her hazel eyes darting between Missy and Osgood.

"Well I was hoping…" Missy trailed off fluttering her eyelashes pleadingly in Skip's direction.

"Oh." The penny dropped and Osgood felt her cheeks flush. "You mean stay here."

"Thank you Skip it is so kind of you to offer…"

"But I di…" Osgood stuttered yet she knew it was a losing battle when Missy blatantly ignored her and carried out.

"I was so worried what I was going to do I mean poor little me out on the streets in this weather with two small children who had already been abandoned by their father."

Giving into the inevitable Osgood couldn't help but smile as Missy laid it on rather thick. "Missy I am sure The Doctor will be back."

"Well who says I want him to come back!" Missy huffed blue eyes flashing in warning. "After pulling this what makes you think I will ever forgive him? I should never have listened to you in the first place…"

"Missy!"

"Well it's true you were the one who convinced me to go after him Skip."

"Yes but I never thought he would do this." Osgood replied quietly. "I mean he came after you when I told him you were in danger and I saw how distraught he was when you were shot…"

"Wait what?" Tess spluttered practically spitting her tea back into her cup. "You were shot?"

Waving it off as if it were nothing, an everyday occurrence Missy merely nodded. "I survived obviously, but what Mother wouldn't when their children were threatened. I have a skill set my dear and I used it." She added dismissively before turning back to Osgood and her insinuation.

"You really don't know him Skip The Doctor would get emotionally distressed if someone gave him pear juice instead of apple." Missy huffed. "He was probably more concerned about having to raise the twins all by himself instead of palming them off on me like he tried to do, and whilst I was still in the hospital as you will recall."

"Missy I don't think…"

"No clearly you don't think!" Missy spat back. "I made a fool out of myself for nothing and now things are even worse than they were, he's off gallivanting about with that floozy of a wife of his, no doubt having a marvellous time and I'm back here where I started."

Biting her tongue Osgood settled for bouncing Sam on her knee. There was clearly no talking to Missy about this right now, Osgood had learned that she had to pick her moment and this was clearly not it.

An awkward silence descended for a moment until a rather noxious smell caught Osgood's nostrils and she gazed down into the scrunched up face of the baby in her lap. "Ummm Missy he's having some sort of fit…Oh my god what is that smell?"

Snorting in amusement Missy took a sip of her tea. "Spare nappies are in the baby bag I left it on your bed. Spit spot Skip you wouldn't want to leave it much longer otherwise you'll never air this room out."

Holding the squirming toxic waste excretor at arm's length Osgood practically rushed towards her bedroom, her reasons to hurry only increasing as a smirking Missy leant towards Tess, a familiar mischievous glint in her blue eyes. "So tell me just how long have you two lovebirds been…"

-/-

There were few things that The Doctor hated more, Daleks, Cybermen, Demonic creatures that lived in gravity wells, but having to deal with the bureaucracy of the Judoon was definitely up there. Logical but inherently stupid creatures it was like trying to argue with a brick wall, something which for a man who relied on his words to get him out of most situations was like losing his most powerful weapon…well one of them…Missy had stolen the other.

So instead of simply breaking River out of jail The Doctor was forced to negotiate with the galaxy's most notoriously stupid law enforcers.

"Look you have twenty eye witness statement that place her at the bar at the time of the robbery, your own toxicology report confirms she has the mixture of drinks in her system that the bartender said he served her."

"She is a notorious criminal…"

"Oh Sweetie don't they say the sweetest things." River giggled from her place behind the force field swaying a little too much before falling off of the bench.

"And she was in possession of the equipment necessary to commit the offence." The Judoon commander continued on as if River hadn't spoken. "Then when we tried to apprehend her she set off an explosive device that caused structural damage."

"It was a party; it needed to end with a bang!" River heckled from her new place on the floor of the cell.

"River you are not helping." The Doctor practically growled before turning back to the commander. "Look you have no evidence to hold her from a crime she didn't commit, if she agrees to pay for the damage from the explosive device…"

"A crime has still been committed!" The Judoon insisted stubbornly.

"Yes but not by her!" The Doctor retorted near the very end of his tether. "You cannot execute an innocent woman, I will personally file a complaint directly with the Shadow Proclamation and that will put your contract with them in jeopardy."

That finally seemed to get through even the Judoon's thick skull. The commander's eyes narrowed as he stared down The Doctor. "We will agree to release her into your custody Doctor on the condition that you apprehend the real thief and deliver them into our custody otherwise we will re-arrest her."

The Doctor was prepared to agree to anything by this point and he nodded his agreement, he had already been itching to investigate anyway. After all it wasn't every day that the Rigellean star emerald was stolen and certainly not from one of the most secure museums in the central core.

"Agreed."

Standing back The Doctor practically had to catch River as she stumbled out of the cells, even without her ridiculous heels on she was more than a little unstable all but falling into his arms.

"My hero!" River gushed and before The Doctor could protest she was dragging him down by the collar into a rather wet kiss.

"Oooooh I do like the new face." She added squishing The Doctor's cheeks between her palms and smooching them about. "All lived in like one of those wrinkly dogs, now you look like my sugar daddy Sweetie."

"River…River…" The Doctor patiently pried her hands loose jumping slightly as her freed hands now slipped lower and grabbed a handful of his arse.

"Look let's get you back to the Tardis I should have some anti-tox that will help sober you up. Unless of course you want to be tried and convicted for another crime you didn't commit?"

That seemed to penetrate the alcoholic haze and River at least managed to stand and mostly walk unaided towards the Tardis. This was not turning out to be the simple rescue and drop off that The Doctor had expected and he couldn't deny that part of him was practically chomping at the bit to get in and solve this latest mystery. He had missed it, the thrill of a new puzzle to solve and it wasn't as though Missy or the twins were in actual danger…

Not that you know of… they could be and how would be know…a small voice reminded him and for a moment The Doctor actually stopped his stomach churning in doubt and discomfort.

No he had a time machine, he could be back on earth before anything could happen, they would be fine….they had to be fine…of course they would be fine…

"Sweetie are you coming?"

Jarred from his guilty introspection The Doctor rushed after River, pushing thoughts of Missy and twins from his mind, he couldn't allow himself to get distracted he needed to solve this crime first. Then he could go and retrieve his family, just this one time, what could possibly go wrong with that?

-/-


	7. Chapter 7

-/-

"So how do you propose we do this?" Osgood

"Do what Skip?" Missy asked innocently as she rummaged through Osgood's slightly improved closet, waggling her eyebrows suggestively when she came across an actual dress. "Oh look you are a girl after all."

Snatching the dress out of Missy's hands Osgood carefully placed it back in her wardrobe. "That's for New Year's Tess is having a party and well…look I can wear a dress if I want."

"Hmmm my 'ickle Skip all grown up and going to parties." Missy teased, blue eyes glinting with mischief. "Do I need to give you the talk pet?"

"No thank you!"

"Hmmm no I don't suppose I do after the little floor show I caught earlier." Missy sniggered. "So have you two done the do yet?"

"Missy!"

"Oooh testy so I take it that's a no then."

"I could ask you the same question Missy. How's your love life?" Osgood spat back, only regretting her impulsive retort when Missy actually blanched.

"I'm sorry I didn't…" Osgood spluttered tucking her loose hair behind her ears in a familiar awkward gesture as she watched Missy busy herself about the bedroom repositioning the pillows to create a fluffy barrier to stop the babies from rolling off the bed.

Frowning as Missy rummaged through her drawers before pulling out a familiar T-shirt Osgood quickly averted her gaze as Missy began stripping off her clothes. "I just…Well I just assumed I mean it's been months…"

"Six months." Missy spat back testily tugging her favourite Bowie T-Shirt on. "It's been six months Skip and I could count the kisses on my fingers. It's not as though I haven't given him the green light, I have done everything save stripping off all my clothes and waiting buck naked with a smile on his damn bed. Clearly he doesn't want me, I suppose I should have realised that long before he dumped me to run off after his wife!"

"But…But…what's wrong with him?" Osgood couldn't help but stutter in disbelief. "Does he need his eyes testing?" She added causing Missy to glance up and gift her a genuine half smile, giving Osgood enough encouragement to go on. "I mean you know you're gorgeous."

"Yes well clearly my dear Doctor doesn't agree but it's sweet of you to say pet." Missy sighed dramatically before draping herself across the double bed and tickling her daughter's stomach.

Shaking her head Osgood resigned herself to the inevitable. "I take I am losing my bed?"

"Well it's your choice Skip but the one who sleeps in the bed looks after the babies and I'm afraid time tots sleep even less than human ones do." Missy replied smugly lifting up the drooling Sam and holding him out for Osgood to take. "But please do be my guest."

"Actually you're mine remember." Osgood spluttered backing away from the drooling smell monster, one nappy from Sam was enough to put Osgood off of babies for life. "So take the bed I'll be fine on the couch with a blanket."

"Well if you're sure?"

"I'm sure!"

Shrugging one elegant shoulder Missy reclined back against the remaining pillow before she suddenly leapt up as if remembering something.

"Missy?" Osgood followed her as the former Time Lady marched into the living room, only to suddenly return with a familiar velvet jacket which she flung carelessly on the duvet causing some of the contents of the overly full pockets to spill out.

"Why does he have a yoyo in his pocket?" Osgood questioned as Missy eyeballed the offending item before tossing it carelessly into Skip's waste paper basket.

"Don't you mean had a yoyo?" Missy retorted with glee, before randomly taking hold of several other items that looked pointless and quickly they joined the yoyo in the bin. "I have no idea why that man does half the things he does Skip."

"Mae don't fight with your brother." Missy huffed as both twins seemed to have latched hold of some old looking watch, which Sam seemed intent on shoving in his mouth.

"Urgh Missy should they be playing with that?" Osgood asked as a distracted Missy fiddled with The Doctor's sonic screwdriver.

"Honestly I have no idea but Sam chewed through a Tardis circuit board and he still alive so I think it should be fine, besides aren't germs good for their immune system?"

"Yeah germs maybe but that looks old." Osgood hovered nervously as Mae actually clocked her brother one in an attempt to prise the old pocket watch from out of his mouth.

"There perimeter alarm set, that should go off in anyone gets within a fifteen foot radius." Missy pronounced smugly setting the screwdriver down on the bedside table before turning her attention to her squabbling children.

"No enough of that both of you!" Missy snapped reaching out and tugging the watch away from them both causing both children to cry out, yet the moment her skin made contact with the cool metal a shock ran up the length of her arm.

Staring down at the watch mesmerised Missy could feel the pinpricks of something like electricity running across her skin and a pull towards it.

"Ummm Missy you do realise the lounge and the bathroom are within that radius right? I mean I'll trip that alarm any time I go to the bathroom."

"Oh…right…yeah…" Missy mumbled reaching out for the sonic screwdriver missing it completely the first time.

Setting the watch down Missy felt the fuzzy feeling suddenly abate and it was as though the rest of the world suddenly came back into focus, the children's loud crying cut through her like a knife. A quick scan of Osgood and Missy had her added to the alarm. "There now you won't trip it."

"Thank you." Osgood replied watching Missy carefully, yet the older woman seemed back to normal again as she moved to comfort her children now not even glancing in the pocket watch's direction.

Retrieving a blanket and a spare pillow from the wardrobe Osgood couldn't help but stare at the watch herself. It was probably nothing. Just a coincidence. Yet as Osgood retreated to the living room she couldn't rid herself of the thought that was now running through her mind.

A watch…Osgood had looked up Martha Jones report when she had returned to earth and Martha had referenced The Doctor's Time Lord consciousness had been stored in a pocket watch. Yet it had to be a coincidence, The Doctor would never find and keep Missy's Time Lord essence from her.

-/-


	8. Chapter 8

-/-

The museum staff were being decidedly uncooperative even after The Doctor flashed them his psychic paper. In fact that had probably made it worse since it seemed their guards had been trained against psychic influencing and The Doctor had been forced to flee before they arrested him as well. Well having had one robbery they were undoubtedly on high alert but that then left The Doctor with only one option if he was going to get inside and check the site of the crime for clues.

"We're going to have to break in ourselves." The Doctor pronounced gravely to the console room only glancing up when there was no reaction or response. "River?"

Surprised and more than a little bit annoyed The Doctor found himself all alone in the console room. The Doctor pushed himself away from the console and went looking for his absent wife. Walking through the Tardis corridors The Doctor avoided looking in the direction of the twins room, it would be cold and empty, and it would force him to dwell on the fact that his children weren't here and safe where they should be. He had already squashed that feeling of guilt down far below his stomach once today he had no desire for it to rear it's ugly head again and take him by surprise.

"River?" The Doctor called out not interested in a prolonged game of hide and seek when there was a puzzle to be solved.

"In here Sweetie."

Intrigued The Doctor poked his head around the door his heart sinking at the familiar décor, no, oh no…

He knew that the Tardis had been less than pleased with having Missy on board but The Doctor thought that she had come to accept it, she had certainly stopped making life quite so difficult for the former Time Lady after a few months and more than a few pleading words from The Doctor. Yet seemed his ship had merely been lulling him into a false sense of security, why else would she have led River to this room?

"I just needed to freshen up, I actually found plaster in my hair could you believe it?" River called out from the bathroom…From Missy's bathroom.

"Did you need a change of clothes I could probably find something in the wardrobe that would fit?" The Doctor asked as he nervously glanced at the discarded pile of clothes.

"Oh no need I already found some." River called back. "It really is amazing what some of your companions actually leave behind. I mean they're not my usual style but I'll make do."

No….no….The Doctor glared at the Tardis mentally rebuking her and feeling his ship quail a little under the force of his anger.

Yet before The Doctor could do anything about it River reappeared, her curls wet and pulled back into a messy bun, yet it was the familiar high necked blouse that River chose to wear partially open over a tank and soft plum fitted velvet jacket with skinny jeans that were now supper skin tight on River's curves.

"Ta dah." River pronounced with a smile and a twirl surprised when The Doctor continued to stare but not in a I can't keep my eyes off her way. "Doctor…Is everything…Oh is it bad memories I'm sorry I didn't think."

"No." The Doctor shook his head.

They were memories but they weren't necessarily bad ones, far from it, he could still recall Missy bouncing into the console room gleefully showing off that jacket, the latest in her long line of plunders from the Tardis's extensive wardrobe. It was only missing a cameo broach and then it would be perfect she insisted. It had been such a Missy moment that The Doctor had struggled to smile, her daughter's cameo like her Tardis was still MIA, and although Missy couldn't remember either there was clearly still some pull there.

"Doctor?" River's concern only grew when this new Doctor seemed to grow more withdrawn from her. He wasn't like either of the other versions she had met before, those Doctor's had worn their hearts on their sleeves, this one by contrast kept it all so tightly locked down it was so difficult to judge if he was even pleased to see her.

"How long?"

"What?" The Doctor barked eyebrows drawn in a deep frown.

"How long has it been since you last saw me?"

"Like this?" The Doctor questioned gesturing between them. "A very very long time, near to a thousand years."

That answer nearly knocked the air from her lungs and River actually sank down on to the bed. It was a lifetime, well several lifetimes in fact, and in some ways it did explain the distance. She would have been little more than a memory by now, The Doctor would have moved on with his life, would have almost forgotten about her like he did with all the others and then in she came crashing back into his life and turned it upside down.

"I'm sorry I didn't think." River replied gently. "No companion at the moment?"

"Y…No I wouldn't call her that she wouldn't like it." The Doctor corrected himself, imagining the explosion if he ever made that mistake, Missy would annihilate him.

"Oh." River replied with an arched eyebrow and a saucy wink. "Don't tell me you've gone and replaced me Sweetie." Yet the damning blush on The Doctor's cheek and the way he suddenly avoided her gaze like the plague told her the truth.

"Well I at least hope she's fabulous." River chuckled easing herself up from the bed and moving towards The Doctor. "I mean you've hardly been my only husband Sweetie, as wonderful as you are you are a little expensive for everyday wear."

Surprised by that confession The Doctor realised he was actually less bothered than he expected he would be. Once upon a time he imagined he would have been jealous, his earlier incarnation had had a little trouble sharing.

"So where is she I'd love to meet her?"

Rubbing his neck awkwardly The Doctor now could really feel his cheeks burning. "She's…she's visiting friends at the moment."

"Independent too even better." River added savouring this new side to The Doctor, her main version had never been this type of awkward, it was truly Darling.

"Yes well perhaps another time….Now we have an emerald to find otherwise the Judoon will track you across the galaxy and back again."

"I take you have a plan?" River asked retrieving her equipment from her pile of clothes and strapping them on.

Smiling The Doctor's eyebrows waggled in the most suggestive manner as he leant closer. "Tell me Ms Song how do you feel about a spot of breaking and entering?"

-/-


	9. Chapter 9

-/-

Missy couldn't sleep and for once it had nothing to do with her two children. True they had been as difficult to settle as always. Mae had cried every time Missy had tried to set her down even after Missy had been certain she had fallen asleep and Sam had soaked two baby grows with his dribbles. Finally however they had gone down and an exhausted Missy had settled down eager for at least an hour or two of sleep.

Well she had fallen asleep easily enough but her dreams…

Vivid wasn't the word, yet they were not exactly pleasant, and over and over again the same whispering voices talking to her. Open me, open me and remember…

The Doctor had been in them too, first as a young man and then older and different faces yet somehow Missy had known they were all him.

Yet in her dreams he seemed angry, violent often towards her, and he had left her to burn. That had been too much and Missy had jerked awake still able to smell the stench of burning flesh and smoke in her nostrils and shivering as her skin shuddered with the phantom pain of flesh being burnt off of her bones.

As if sensing his mother's distress Sam woke too and Missy quickly gathered her tearful son into her arms before he could wake Mae and the two of them together would wake the entire apartment block.

"Shush Sammy it's alright it was just a bad dream." Missy rocked him gently, trying to act reassuring when even her own voice trembled. They had just been dreams, no matter how vivid or terrible they were just dreams.

When he continued to whimper she reached about for something for him to chew on, fingers trailing across Osgood's bedside table before they landed on…oh…the electric tremor was back and the sensation of pins and needles radiated out from her fingers and up her arm. Fumbling with the pocket watch Missy brought it up to her face.

Fingers traced the circular script imprinted on the back even in the dim light and Missy winced as the low level headache she normally got when trying to read the ancient language erupted into a full blown migraine.

"Ow." Missy huffed rubbing the back of her free hand across her forehead, surprised as Sam reached up and tried to tug the watch out of her hand.

"Hmm you guys really do like this don't you?" Missy muttered as her son tried to shove the watch back into his mouth.

"No Sam Skip is right that could be dirty." Missy sighed reaching out to take it back, yet her son didn't want to let go.

"Sam let go let Mummy have it!" Missy snapped her fingers closing around the watch and knocking the flimsy looking clasp, pressing it down just as she wrenched the watch free from her son's grasp.

The lid snapped open and out swirled golden swirls of light. For a moment they bathed the room in a golden glow and Missy stared up in wonder as the voices from before cried out in relief and joy. Then it was descending in a swarm, seeping in through Missy's open mouth, her nose, through her eyes.

For a moment it felt like that dream, like she was been burned alive and somehow drowning at the same time, yet unlike her dream this fire was purifying, the cocoon that was Missy Saxon was stripped away like dead skin, she wasn't loosing herself she was gaining….

A thousand years of memories burned fresh and vivid behind her eyes. New old senses woke up and stretched, the taste on her tongue picked out the ozone concentrate, the swirl of the planet spinning beneath her feet and the instinctive time sense kicked in, and knowledge…

Oh how could she have forgotten? How could she have allowed herself to be so diminished?

The now empty watch fell from Missy's hand onto the duvet spent and useless and a reborn Time Lady opened her eyes, blinking bright blue even in the dim light. Then for the first time she looked on her son with her real eyes.

Mesmerised…Sam looked at her and Missy stared into him…all of him open like a book waiting to be read and he reached out so trustingly; his mind brushing with joy against his mother's for the first time. Reaching out a finger that Sam grasped greedily before bringing it to his mouth to chew, Missy didn't even flinch; instead a wide smile pulled at her lips as she reached down and bumped their foreheads together.

"Hello my son."

-/-


	10. Chapter 10

-/-

The security system was quite sophisticated.

The artefacts when not on display were contained in ten inch titanium caskets behind triple time locked 5000lb stainless steel doors encased in one meter thick reinforced concrete, blast proof and buried five hundred meters beneath the surface with shielding that could repel even The Doctor's beloved Tardis…well until he was inside and able to disable them.

The only entry was via a single elevator shaft covered by motion sensors, heat detectors, and seismic sensors. Visitors had to make their way through three separate airlocks, provide two forms ID and special clearance….well they were supposed to…

The vaults themselves were inside a vacuum and unless via an authorised entry any thief had better bring their own oxygen supply with them, otherwise they would die before they could so much as think about stealing anything.

It was an impossible system to break into, so naturally it took The Doctor about ten minutes and then another two locking it back up securely behind them. Well they didn't need museum security tramping in when they were looking for clues, nor did they need to leave behind evidence that could incriminate them.

Walking around the vault The Doctor mourned the absence of his sonic screwdriver as he had to wield the clunky scanner he had hastily assembled from spare parts and one partially chewed circuit board. Yet the readings he was getting just didn't make any sense.

"No one has broken into this vault." The Doctor pronounced over his suits intercom, his eyebrows a deep furrow visible even through the tinted visor of his space suit.

"Sweetie I do beg to differ." River called out amusement ringing in her voice as she gestured between the two of them with a gloved hand before returning to scrutinise the single open casket that had once contained the star emerald. Yet even that appeared to have been merely opened, no sign of forced entry and left mockingly empty.

Rolling his eyes The Doctor marched over and practically thrust the readout under River's nose, and she had to lean back to avoid cracking her own faceplate.

"I meant other than us. Look. There is no trace of forced entry beside ours. There is no sign of anyone even being in here besides ourselves."

"Really how interesting." River replied yet her gaze barely left the open casket. "Sweetie does that look like a twenty combination lock to you?"

Turning his scanner to the open safe The Doctor passed the sensor over it, waiting until The Tardis processed the information.

"Yes and it was opened with the correct combination key." The Doctor tutted showing River the extrapolated information, the twenty digit code that would have been needed to open the safe.

It was easy when you had an open safe and a Time machine that could run billions of combinations in seconds. It was working out the combination of a locked safe that was the difficult part but someone clearly had, someone who could infiltrate a vault this secure without leaving a trace. Yet who? Who other than a Time Lord could have done this?

"It had to be an inside job." The Doctor pronounced, warming to his theory. Someone must have had the necessary information to pull this off, then it was just a matter of waiting until a convenient scapegoat arrived on planet who could be set up to take the fall for the crime.

River Song a known genius and psychopath would have been a perfect candidate and if it hadn't been for his arrival they would have gotten away with it. Perhaps it was the curator or a disgruntled ex-employee.

"Well yes you're not wrong Sweetie, the thief is definitely operating from the inside and she couldn't have done it out without her brilliant accomplice and his marvellous machines." River replied with a playful wink as she relieved The Doctor of his scanner and stepped back.

She then revealed the vortex manipulator she had hidden in the side pocket of her suit. "Sorry Sweetie."

"River No!" The Doctor called out but he was unable to stop his wife as she activated the vortex manipulator and vanished in a flash of light and burnt ozone.

She was gone, gone to steal the Star Emerald. The very crime The Doctor had only come here to exonerate her of, leaving him alone in a locked vault. She would be back The Doctor was certain of that fact, yet in the meantime he was here and having to face the fact that this entire time loop was of his creation.

Yet worse than knowing he was an accomplice in grand theft was the knowledge of just what he had potentially sacrificed and all for nothing.

-/-


	11. Chapter 11

-/-

Osgood had been pleasantly asleep…had been being the salient point.

One moment her mind had been a fuzzy place, warm muddled with fleeting images of her day passing through her subconscious then next she was being jarred awake with the cold press of sharpened steel pressing against her jugular.

Holding herself very still Osgood tried not to panic. Her attacker was currently just a dark blob straddling her waist. The knife at her throat didn't waver, and other than Osgood's own thready breathing there was no sound….no sound…she couldn't even hear her assailants breathing. Which meant it was either some sort of android or…

"Missy?" Osgood hissed the name, getting her answer when the knife pressed into her soft flesh breaking the skin and causing Osgood to whimper. "Missy stop it, it's not funny."

"It is Mistress to you human." Missy's familiar voice broke the silence and Osgood could hear both wistfulness and barely contained emotion…possibly anger in the tone… "Why Skip, why did you betray me?"

"I didn't…I wouldn't…" Osgood replied, swallowing nervously as that was clearly the wrong answer for some reason, she didn't know how…no she suspected how and that it had something to do with that watch Missy had been handling earlier...yet what was clear was that this was The Mistress holding her captive not human Missy and the Time Lady was clearly pissed about something, something that she blamed on Osgood.

"Don't lie pet; I hate liars even more than I hate backstabbers." Missy replied her voice childishly sing song as she traced the tip of the knife along Skip's jawline allowing a thin line of red to bubble and bloom up over her pet's normally tanned skin. "You know what you did."

"I'm not lying." Osgood pleaded, squirming away from the knife. "Mistress please stop. I'm your friend remember."

"Tut tut Skip I made a mistake in believing that lie before, in sparing you but that won't be a mistake I will be repeating. I warned you once; and I don't give second chances pet." Missy hissed reaching back and grasping hold of Osgood's loose dark hair and wrenching it hard to expose the long slope of her throat.

"Sorry this is going to be a little messy but please do feel free to struggle, I like it best when you fight back it really gets my blood pumping."

Trailing the knife down the smooth column of the human's throat Missy trailed teasing little patterns, light little more than scratches against her skin but they swelled pretty red like a natural tattoo. Reaching the neckline of Skip's ugly t-shirt Missy dragged her knife through the material, like dark star alloy through armour plating, exposing her canvas and the human's pretty full breasts.

"Should I carve my name here pet?" Missy teased digging the very tip of the knife above the trembling girls left breast. "Carve your Mistress's name in your pretty little flesh to remind you just who owns you and just who you betrayed when you teamed up with The Doctor to neuter me? Leave it here for your pretty little Tess to find along with your cold rotting corpse?"

She was really going to do it! Osgood felt herself freeze as first the knife and then cold fingers travelled down from her hair to stroke across her trembling flesh. Her heart was pounding away mere inches from the knife's tip. She knew she should fight back, she should do something yet the very fear of death was paralysing and her brain just wouldn't work.

"Skip it is rude not to answer when someone asks you a question, have you lost all of your manners as well as your good sense? Hmm?" Missy mused raking nails harshly along the cleft between Osgood's breasts leaving long red claw marks before she dipped her head and lapped her tongue against the bleeding wounds her knife had left on the girl's neck. "Hmmm yummy."

"Why are you doing this?" Osgood asked blinking away the tears that now fell freely over her cheeks. "I was helping you…"

"I told you I didn't need any help, I told you to stay away from The Doctor." Tasting her tears that were as salty as her blood Missy explained as if talking to a child or an idiot, which to be honest her little pet was sometimes a bit of both.

"I told you to stay out of it Skip. But no you had to interfere, had to muck up all my plans and leave me stuck as a human. A human! Did you think it was funny, did you laugh? You must have, you and that prissy little boss of yours, did you throw a party, knowing what I had been reduced to. Knowing that my salvation was in reach and then doing nothing to help me when I really needed it? Letting me debase myself like that in front of The Doctor."

"No…No!" Osgood insisted. "I just wanted to help I swear it. I didn't know The Doctor had your watch all this time. I would never have agreed to keeping you imprisoned in the watch Missy I swear it. You are my friend…"

"I told you not to lie to me Skip and I warned you of the consequences." Missy tutted. "What would be fitting punishment be do you think?"

"I am not lying!" Osgood snapped. "Please check for yourself if you don't believe me. We both know you are capable of ripping the truth from my mind with or without my permission. Or heaven forefend you could just try trusting me!"

Surprised…and she had honestly thought her Pet was beyond surprising her Missy sat up blue eyes narrowing as she stared down at the trembling human. "Why would I bother, human minds are such a messy place."

"Because you know me." Osgood spat back her patience at an end. If Missy was going to kill then she should just get on with it, otherwise Osgood had had enough.

"You know I would have stood by you in this." She added taking advantage of the Time Lady's sudden reticence to knock the knife away from her flesh, surprised when Missy allowed it and actually tossed the weapon out of range of them both.

"You expect me to believe that you honestly prefer me like this Skip? Your would be murderer, the destroyer of worlds, to that neutered thing The Doctor was playing house with?"

"Yes." Osgood answered simply knocking the wind out of Missy's self-righteous sails.

Sitting up so they were practically nose to nose Osgood surprised Missy yet again, she wrapped her arms around Missy's waist and pulled her into a hug.

"What do you think you are doing?" Missy all but squeaked as she was all but surrounded by warm human.

"Hugging my friend." Osgood muttered into the Time Lady's shoulder. "Even if she is a terrible friend in return I am still glad she is back."

Hesitating for a moment Missy found herself leaning into the embrace, curling her own arms around the human girl, surprised to feel a bloom of an unaccustomed feeling that she quickly and viciously stomped down. She did not feel guilty. No…not even a tiny bit…she was just a human…a pet kept around to amuse her. Even so it didn't stop her tightening her grip just a little, holding on a little tighter and resting her cheek against her pet's shoulder.

Feeling Missy hug her back Osgood smiled.

"I can feel that!" Missy snapped back yet that only caused Osgood's smile to grow.

It was ridiculous and perhaps it was shock setting in, yet Osgood knew she was no longer in any real danger. Well not of being sliced up…

Yelping as cold hands slipped under her butchered t-shirt Osgood scrabbled to move Missy's hands back to more respectable places, ignoring the amused grin and snicker of the Time Lady against her shoulder.

Well it seemed somethings were back to normal.

-/-


	12. Chapter 12

-/-

He only had to wait five minutes. Yet for a Time Lord five minutes could feel like forever. After all five minutes was more than enough time for The Doctor to review his own actions and to calculate over a million potential outcomes. Unfortunately for him the vast majority of those scenarios involved Missy removing rather vital parts of his anatomy with a variety of implements.

The twitching of his time senses, something akin to an itch in a human, signalled River's return and The Doctor turned to face her expectantly. With a flash and folding of time and space she reappeared.

"Where is it?" The Doctor demanded ignoring River's big eyes and sheepish grin.

"Sweetie…"

"No not this time River." The Doctor cut off before his wife could get into her stride and find another way to get around him.

"Oh dear is Daddy cross with poor little me?" River pouted fluttering her eyes bashfully. "Honestly Sweetie I had no choice but to pop back and steal now did I; it was a closed loop. And it is so very pretty, too pretty to waste away locked in this boring old vault."

"The emerald now River!" The Doctor demanded his patience shot as he held out his hand expectantly.

"Oh honestly honey you don't think I am going to respond to that tone of voice." River tutted rolling her green eyes. "I'm your wife not one of your little companions."

Gritting his teeth The Doctor bit back a rather unflattering reply; instead he surprised River by grasping her wrist and holding her in place whilst he searched for the emerald in her pockets.

"Down boy!" River teased before trying to pull her arm free, her playful smile falling when The Doctor used his superior strength to hold her in place. "Doctor…Doctor let me go…This is not funny anymore."

"No it is not." The Doctor replied finding the jewel and lifting it up to scrutinise it. It was beautiful, the emerald green depths lit from inside by a natural glow that had earned it its name as the Star Emerald.

"Put that back where you found it Doctor!" River demanded and The Doctor felt something poke him hard in the stomach.

Glancing down he caught sight of River's favourite revolver pressing into his stomach. "You are not going to use that River."

"It wouldn't be the first time my love." River reminded him with a smirk that didn't reach her eyes.

"No it wouldn't." The Doctor replied evenly. "But as I also recall how that ended forgive me for not thinking you are serious."

"You didn't have a brand new set of regenerations the last time." River retorted green eyes flashing in warning. "Now you give me that back and let go of my arm and I'll be good enough not to hold it against you and we can go somewhere nice for dinner."

"Unless that emerald goes back into the vault the only place you are going River is back to the Judoon holding cell." The Doctor reminded her. "They won't stop hunting you."

"Oh please I'll just hop back to the 34th century for a bit." River breezed. "I only ever let them catch me last time because I needed to play the damsel in distress for a bit."

"You set this up….You used me." The Doctor forced out the words.

"Oh please Dear you were so eager it is hardly fair to cry foul now. You had no qualms about breaking in here, you enjoyed it!"

"I…I…" There was no denying he had enjoyed it, he shouldn't have, it hadn't been particularly challenging but The Doctor had been in the vortex for too long and any distraction was akin to an adventure.

"Darling." River crooned reaching up and laying her gloved hand against the face plate of his helmet. "Let's just get out of here; you can punish me later for being a bad girl if it will make you feel better." She added with a wink.

Leaning into her embrace for a moment The Doctor lifted his own arms to hold her back, resting his helmet against hers and staring into her eyes. "River…"

"Yes my love?" River asked her eyes alight with warmth and a sense of surety.

"I'm sorry." The Doctor added with a sigh, watching as his wife's eyes clouded with confusion before realisation dawned as slowly the air in her helmet became warmer and thicker as though…

"No...no..." River gasped as her head began to spin as the recycled air in her helmet reached unhealthy levels of CO2 and her vision began to swim.

Catching River as she fainted The Doctor gently laid her down on the floor of the vault. Then with measured footsteps he put the stolen emerald back in its titanium casket, shutting the casket up and locking it. Then returning to River's side he picked up the revolver and placed it in his pocket before picking up his wife and with some minor adjustments to her vortex manipulator they both vanished.

-/-


	13. Chapter 13

-/-

"You have to promise me not to…well not to terrorise them." Osgood shifted awkwardly watching closely as the twins climbed and fawned and fought over their mother in the back of the taxi. "Missy please?"

"Honestly Skip dear what do you take me for an idiot?" Missy teased back as she tickled her children, delighting in their vocal and mental laughter.

So few beings in the galaxy had ever been this pleased to simply be with her and of those that had well they were either dead or now knew better…or were betrayers dressed in sheep's clothing or something else that Missy hadn't quite figured out yet but she would. Any and all threats to her family were to be neutralised before they could strike, only right now Missy still wasn't certain just what Skip was and she would be a fool indeed not to consider the potential benefits if the human was honestly serious about being her friend. The free babysitting alone was worth holding back.

"No…no not that." Osgood quickly assured her shifting awkwardly under the speculative look Missy had about her that caused her scratches to suddenly itch madly. "It's just you did once promise to make my sister regret her behaviour remember?"

"Did I?" Missy asked airily, lifting one elegant dark eyebrow as she cuddled her daughter who was currently displaying her dominance and natural talent by seizing a greater portion of Missy's mental attention.

Kissing her daughter and rewarding her brilliance with a mental caress that had her jabbering away in excitement Missy finally turned her attention back to the less evolved of her company. "Dear Skip I say many things, threaten more people than I could possibly ever deal with personally. Of course if you are really mentioning it because you are hoping I will actually follow through on this occasion then you need only ask?"

Shooting Missy a glare that even she couldn't misinterpret Osgood had to settle for Missy's smug smile.

"Oh dear is that a no then pet? Pity I was looking forward to it, and it would be a wonderful opportunity to teach the children."

"Please they are six months old." Osgood replied exasperated. "And it is Christmas and it's only for a few hours and there'll be food."

"Oh well as long as there's food." Missy deadpanned. "So did you tell them who you were bringing? You did tell them or am I to be a seasonal surprise?"

"A friend." Osgood replied, it was the truth after all, and it earned her a half smile from Missy. "And no they don't know that you're not human and I would rather like it if it stayed that way."

"We could have just stayed at the flat you know."

"I know but no one should be alone on Christmas Missy." Osgood insisted fingering the collar of her polo neck jumper, it was unseasonably warm for December but unless she wanted to answer some awkward questions she was stuck in the hot unflattering thing.

"Oh please Skip Dear that is such a human sentiment." Missy tutted. "Besides I think it is more likely that you were afraid to leave me home unsupervised."

"Can you blame me after what you did to my kitchen when you tried to make breakfast?"

"I still maintain that your cooker did that to itself." Missy insisted innocently batting her bright blue eyes, her act undermined by the twist of a smirk that pulled at her lips.

Unable to keep a straight face Osgood couldn't help but return her smile. That was until the taxi pulled up outside a large expensive suburban home. "Oh dear is it too late to change my mind?"

Leaning forward Missy patted her cheek patronisingly before opening the door and gathering children and baby bag. "There there pet don't worry, if it all goes tits up I can always kill them."

"Well that's alr…"Osgood began before she actually listened to what Missy had said. Scrambling to pay the taxi driver Osgood all but stumbled out of the cab as she tried to catch up with Missy who was already at the door.

She was panting hard when she caught up with Missy who had already pressed the doorbell.

"Just let me do the talking alright!" Osgood insisted and a moment later the door was opened and a well put together woman with a steel grey bob and a twinset appeared, familiar brown eyes raked over the motley ensemble that had dropped on her doorstep.

"Mummy." Osgood greeted her mother brightly yet her greeting was accepted with a pale reflection of the same enthusiasm and there was a definite crease in between the well-groomed eyebrows that only increased as Mrs Osgood's eyes raked over her younger daughter's choice of outfit.

"Petronella dear." The voice should have been pleasant, the cadence and tone were melodic yet it was distinctly lacking warmth. "And this must be…"

"I'm Missy." The Time Lady replied her own back bristling as Mrs Osgood actually wrinkled her nose a little as she looked over the twins.

Well nobody dared to look at her perfect offspring like that and it was only Skip's restraining hand on her elbow and the delight in finding out just how aptly she had named her pet that kept the somewhat manic smile on her face and her newly made disrupter hidden in her pocket.

"Are yes you are Petronella's…"

"Girlfriend." Missy cut in before either Osgood's could speak. Relishing the look of shock and revulsion that was barely masked by Mrs Osgood's stiff upper lip and the sudden choking noise from a petrified Skip who it appeared had forgotten how that breathing thing worked.

"And I cannot say how delighted I am to be finally meeting you Mrs Osgood." Missy followed up blue eyes glinting with hidden promises as she stepped over the threshold and a stunned Mrs Osgood stepped backwards out of habit. "Or should I call you mother?"

-/-


	14. Chapter 14

-/-

It didn't take long for River to come around once The Doctor had removed her helmet. Yet in those vital minutes he had sent a message to the Judoon commander about the miraculous reappearance of the Rigellan Star Emerald in the very vault it had supposedly been stolen from. Even so it would probably be wise to keep a low profile and avoid the Judoon and the Shadow Proclamation for a while.

The Doctor had also managed to pilot them into the time vortex and begin to pick through options of just where he could transport River, somewhere that even she would struggle to get into trouble for a while. Oh who was he kidding River would create trouble just to avoid being bored, much like another lady of his acquaintance, well it could never be said he didn't have a type…

"That was out of order." River hissed fairly vibrating with anger as she pulled herself off of the grated floor and used the edge of the Tardis console to steady herself.

"Perhaps." The Doctor conceded but his blue grey eyes remained resolute even in the face of his wife's ire. "But it was necessary."

"You've changed." River muttered, her green eyes serious and assessing as she looked properly at this new Doctor, so very serious and so much older in more than just looks. "And not for the better my love."

"Why because I am finally starting to look at the consequences of my actions?" The Doctor snapped back, it was a sore spot and River with her unerring precision had poked it dead on. "Starting to accept what I do does have consequences for myself and other people and that they are my responsibility to deal with."

"Did this new face come with an extra dose of self-importance and pomposity of was this something you've chosen to adopt?" River snorted, shaking her head, golden ringlets dancing. "And I never asked you to protect me from the consequences of my actions Doctor!"

"No just to get you out of jail and break you into the very vault you planned to steal from." The Doctor replied bitterly. "You used me River and if you cannot understand that then no wonder you cannot begin to understand my approach."

"So what suffocating me was what punishment for tricking you?"

"No it was the only way to stop you." The Doctor sighed. "You could have just given me the emerald but…"

"What after you ordered me to? Sorry Sweetie but I take orders from no man not even my husband."

Sighing The Doctor ran his hand wearily over his face. He just felt so tired. Now the adrenaline had worn off and he was staring dead on at the consequences he had yet to face. It would be so much easier just to run away, to try to forget, to not even try to mend fences with Missy.

Feeling a hand rest on his shoulder The Doctor looked up, surprised not to see an angry River but one whose face was filled with concern.

"Doctor please tell me what is wrong? And don't try and tell me you're fine because I know you well enough to know that lie when I see it."

Forcing a smile for her The Doctor covered her hand lightly with his own, squeezing it gently before removing it from his shoulder. Holding her gloved hand carefully between his own The Doctor swallowed down the hard lump in his throat. This was not going to be easy to say and yet there was no running away from this conversation not if he was serious about facing up to things.

"I didn't tell you the whole truth before. When I told you about my new…urgh…"

"Not companion?" River supplied helpfully and this time The Doctor shot her a genuine smile. "Forgive me Dear but that is hardly a surprise."

"She is far more than a not companion River." The Doctor stumbled over the words. "We have a family."

That River had clearly not been expecting, even as she feigned a nonchalant expression even as she suddenly couldn't quite meet his gaze. "Oh I didn't think that was possible…I mean you never mentioned…"

"It is possible with a few species and some medical expertise." The Doctor explained gently. "I never mentioned because with our…well that was really never an option for us and if I am honest I tried being a father once and I was terrible at it…I still am if I am honest."

Pulling her hand free River did her best not to let her pain show, she knew he was only speaking the truth but that didn't mean that it hurt any less. "I suppose not, so why now…" The why her was left unspoken yet they both heard it.

Biting down on his tongue The Doctor swallowed down his immediate reply, he had no desire to be cruel after all. "That would be a very long story."

"I appear to have the time." River replied. "And since this is goodbye I think we should do it properly."

"River…" The Doctor began to protest yet the words died on his tongue. She was right this was goodbye, it had to be, but there was no reason not to do it properly. "Dinner?"

"With dancing and a view please." River demanded with a hint of her former fire and The Doctor conceded with a nod.

Moving around the console he programmed in the coordinates, after all there was only once place in the known galaxy they could go and the knowledge of what this would set in motion broke his hearts a little more.

-/-


	15. Chapter 15

-/-

Missy was clearly enjoying herself, that she was enjoying herself at the expense of making her family squirm was something Osgood could have almost forgiven, well if she hadn't been dragged into the centre of it.

After her mother had been sequestered in her favourite armchair with a stiff brandy Osgood had tried to explain that Missy had only been joking yet it seemed her family didn't quite believe her. Her sister certainly kept shooting her all manner of smug knowing looks and it took all the maturity Osgood possessed not to stick her tongue out at Stacie like they were still squabbling children.

So when her sister stupidly started to poke and prod verbally at Missy like she was one of Osgood's lab specimens well it was with more than a modicum of satisfaction that Osgood sat back and left them to it. She would gladly help scoop up what was left of Stacie off the floor after Missy was finished verbally eviscerating her, and perhaps it would teach her stuck up sister a thing or two about judging people before she had properly met them.

"So are you a lesbian then?" Stacie blurted out over the turkey and stuffing causing the table to suddenly fall silent, only the clink of dropping cutlery could be heard.

Blinking her bright blue eyes Missy took her time before answering one of her unnerving smiles slowly creeping across her face. "Am I a what?"

"A lesbian." Stacie repeated extra slowly as talking to someone slow witted. "You sleep with girls?"

"I generally sleep by myself." Missy countered innocently. "Of course occasionally when one of the twins won't settle they stay with me."

"That's not…" Stacie began before changing tactic when her mother shot her a pointed glare and one of her own obnoxious children piped up.

"When Katie sleeps over she stays in my bed, does that mean I'm a lesbian Mummy?"

"Don't be silly Cassandra. You shouldn't be eavesdropping. Now eat your vegetables." Stacie chastised her youngest daughter, fighting an embarrassed flush and for a few minutes an awkward silence descended as the rest of the family hid their faces in their food.

Yet it was only so long before Stacie could resist poking at the Missy shaped mystery at the table, especially with the way her baby sister kept shooting her "friend" concerned glances. Stacie just knew her oh so smart sister was a dyke, of course she had done her best to hide it over the years, but now she had actually brought a woman home with her did she honestly expect to rub their noses in it and still get away with it?

"So your children were they in vitro, did you use a donor or is there a proper baby daddy out there somewhere?"

"I really don't see how that's any of your business Stacie." Osgood muttered.

"Why not I'm curious and it's not often you see a woman of such advancing years with two small children, they can't possibly be natural." Stacie scoffed lifting her wine glass to take a deep sip.

"Oh you're quite right there was nothing natural about it." Missy replied wrinkling her nose in disgust at the thought of the human birthing process, for her species the very idea of a "natural birth" was vile and backward. No way at all for a proper Time Lord to be born.

"See." Stacie pronounced with a smug smile in her sisters direction.

"I mean what sane woman would allow parasites to feed off of her for months, warping her body and then putting her through agony just to bring them into the universe, positively barbaric." Missy continued on shuddering.

"It was the most incredible experience of my life." Stacie retorted defensively.

"Oh dear." Missy shook her head innocently her blue eyes glinting as she caught Skip's gaze. "Well you've got a few years left perhaps it's not too late to change that?"

"I…You…" Stacie spluttered as Missy returned her outraged glare with one of perfect innocence.

Biting her lip Stacie settled back into her chair and began to viciously attack her roast potatoes whilst glaring daggers at a serenely smiling Missy who was a picture of maternal contentedness as she fussed over two babies and somehow still managed to eat her lunch.

The Twins were happily ensconced in the rather well-worn highchairs that Mr Osgood had managed to find in the garage from when Stacie's own offspring were little and well that they had been hanging on to in the hope that one day their youngest daughter might surprise them. With a quick clean they were still perfectly serviceable and Osgood had been more than a little relieved when Missy actually commented on their usefulness and didn't turn up her nose at the fact they were second hand.

"So how's work pumpkin?" Mr Osgood finally spoke up hoping to change the subject and ease the tense atmosphere; in personality he was much closer to his younger daughter even if he couldn't claim responsibility for her intellect as well.

"Good Dad, busy."

"Kate still in charge?" Uncle Tom asked from the end of the table and Osgood favoured him with a nervous smile.

Of all the family members she had been the most nervous about introducing Missy to her favourite uncle, yet it seemed her uncle really had gone civilian in the last few years as he didn't even twitch when she introduced them.

"Of course she's a Lethbridge-Stewart." Missy retorted as though that should have been obvious, even with her limited knowledge of human's even she could recognise familial traits and being in charge was clearly a dominant one in that gene pool.

"Oh do you work with our little Petronella?" Uncle Tom questioned.

"I'm freelance." Missy quipped a glint of mischief in her gaze as she locked gazes with Skip who seemed to be about to burst something vital. "But we've been known to cross paths and swords once or twice."

"Oh yes I could tell you a few stories like that." Uncle Tom chortled, opening his mouth to clearly launch into some tall tale when his dominant sister-in-law's glare had him suddenly engrossed in the remains of his dinner.

"So don't you have family of your own to spend Christmas with?" Stacie's blunt question cut through the silence and the lighter mood.

"By family I suppose you mean Mother, father, siblings, cousins?" Missy replied her blue gaze suddenly chilling. "No I don't they are all gone, but even if they weren't I doubt any of them would have an interest in celebrating this particularly holiday. It's not really the done thing where I am from people would think it a little strange."

"Why are you Muslim or something?" Stacie spat back. "You don't look like it, aren't you Scottish, do they even have Scottish Muslims?"

"Stacie love perhaps now is not the t…" Mr Osgood tried to control his eldest child's bluntness; the fact that Missy's family was clearly all dead seemed not to have registered with his daughter who with a complete lack of empathy bowled on not caring who she knocked over.

"I am just showing an interest Dad." Stacie huffed. "I mean this is the first time Petronella has brought a girl home shouldn't we be interested?"

"Dear that misunderstanding has already been explained." Mrs Osgood insisted her brown eyes promising bloody murder to anyone else who dared even mention it again.

"Has it?" Stacie countered risking her mother's wrath. "I mean there is only so long we can all pretend we don't know what is really going on…"

"Stacie!"

"I mean she's even wearing a polo neck." Stacie added ignoring even her mother as she eyeballed her baby sister. "Covering up some hickey's are we Petty?"

"Shut up just shut up!" Osgood snapped at her sister causing Stacie to fall back in her chair as though she was actually under attack. "Fine you want me to say it Stacie. Yes I have a girlfriend. No it is not Missy. I am a great big dyke and I don't give a damn, there are you happy now?!"

That statement fell upon the family with all the devastating power of a nuclear bomb, for a moment there was nothing but a deathly silence, and then all hell broke loose.

-/-


	16. Chapter 16

-/-

The Singing Towers were everything and more than The Doctor had heard and everything and more that he had been dreading. They had danced and drunk the finest wine in the sector. River had laughed and kissed him when he gave her her very own sonic screwdriver and The Doctor had pretended it was the wind when she caught him looking at her glassy eyed. It was the last night they would see each other, The Doctor knew it and he had more than a sneaking suspicion that River knew it too.

She had told him that she loved him and The Doctor had smiled, yet he didn't say it back, he couldn't and she knew it and still loved him despite his shortcomings. And when he apologised he didn't need to explain for what. River had simply smiled sadly, had laid her head against his shoulder as they danced muttering something how you didn't expect the stars to love you back.

Love was such a human concept and even for a Time Lord who had spent as many years among humans as he had it was still so very alien to him. Could Time Lords even love in a way that human's would understand? Could they even begin to explain to a species who were not naturally telepathic just what that sort of forever emotional bond would require from a Time Lord, how very dangerous it could be?

A Time Lord marriage required a telepathic bonding as well as a binding of houses, yet those bonds were purposefully kept light touch and free from emotion. Arranged marriages were still the norm on Gallifrey because the alternative…a free match…well it could be highly dangerous for more than just the bound couple. Any couple wanting to choose a free match had to be carefully vetted by at least two mind healers before the bonding could be officiated and for once this onerous bureaucracy actually had a purpose.

A freely bonded couple might be tempted into a deeper bond, might share too much of themselves, might become too dependent upon their chosen mate.

There were stories from Gallifrey's dark past which told of Time Lords going mad from grief at the loss of their bond mate, going mad and going on indiscriminate murderous rampages. Every academy student of a certain age was forced to listen to the recounting of the tale of Bittimus the Butcher and Silanius the Bloody.

Those stories had only added to The Doctor's already considerable nightmares and yet there had been a time when he had been so close to requesting a free bonding of his own.

It would never have been approved. His own telepathic skills were reasonable but his shielding had always been poor, his preferred mate was by contrast formidable even by Time Lord standards and yet it was Koschei's mental instability that would have been questioned. For if Koschei lost control then there would be nothing that Theta would be able to do to stop her from forcing a full bond the way a more powerful telepath would.

"Alright old girl time to face the music." The Doctor pronounced to the empty Tardis feeling the comforting brush of his ship's consciousness against his mind as he pulled up the stored coordinates and pushed down the dematerialiser.

The ship lurched and The Doctor held on tight relieved when the shaking stopped. That had been rougher than usual as though the Tardis had been fighting against the journey for some reason.

"Look I know you aren't too fond of her, and I am more than a little suspicious about how River just happened to call when Missy was alone in the console room." The Doctor tutted as he made his way over to the double doors. "But she is the twin's mother and her place is here with them. Besides she makes me happy can you please try to accept that?"

The Tardis answering hum was somewhere between sulky and insulting and The Doctor chose not to reply. Instead he reached for the doors and pulled them open, stopping dead and staring at the sudden eruption of greenery that certainly hadn't be there the last time.

"Alright this is not funny…No more games old girl." The Doctor huffed as he slammed the doors shut and stalked over to the console, yet even when he jabbed at the time settings and tried to dematerialise the Tardis flatly refused to move. The controls were dead under his hands.

"Fine be like that but you will not stop me from finding my family!" The Doctor marched angrily to the doors taking a deep breath of the air.

It was cold and crisp and there…there what could only be the familiar interweaving scents of infant time lords filled his nostrils that and...he could even smell Missy, he hadn't expected to be able to in her human form. So they had to be close, very close; he would be able to track them without help from the Tardis.

Fighting his way out of the large offensive bush The Doctor picked pieces of greenery from his hair and clothing, turning around as he practically stumbled his way onto a manicured lawn with large well-tended flower beds.

Suburbia.

Even thinking the word made The Doctor come out in a cold sweat, people who drove Volvos, had mortgages and gave dinner parties.

Look they were even having one now.

Ambling up to the large patio window The Doctor banged his hand against the glass, yet it took longer than expected for the yelling to descend to a more reasonable level and then finally someone noticed him.

Waving jauntily The Doctor scanned the assorted stunned faces before his gaze settled on the one person he was both desiring and dreading coming face to face with…Oh and boy did she look anything but happy to see him.

-/-


	17. Chapter 17

-/-

Osgood had imagined this situation so many times and always there had been shouting. Even in the best scenarios where her parents had accepted it without her Mother descending into hysterics first Osgood had always imagined there would be shouting. So in some ways she had been prepared, and yet in others nothing she could have imagined could have prepared her to face this.

What had never figured in the middle of her mother's ranting, her father trying to calm the situation, her sisters smug gloating and the rest of the family talking over each other was her Aunt Becky suddenly exclaiming.

"Oh goodness there is an intruder in the garden!"

Well at least it stopped the yelling even if Osgood could feel an outburst of a different kind was getting ready to explode when she caught sight of just who was there standing at her family's patio doors grinning like an idiot. "Oh no."

"That's no intruder!" Her Uncle Tom suddenly exclaimed excitedly and Osgood literally sank into her seat and willed the floor to swallow her up. "That there's the Tardis so that must be The Doctor!"

"The who?" Mr Osgood asked as his older brother showed decidedly more excitement than he had shown all day as he rushed over to the patio doors and wrenched them open before grasped a surprised Doctor by the hand and shaking it rigorously.

"Well I never thought I would see you again old chap!" Uncle Tom exclaimed slapping The Doctor heartily on the shoulder. "What's the emergency this time?"

"No emergency." The Doctor replied squinting at the older gentleman in front of him for a moment before he finally placed him. "Didn't you used to have more hair?"

Patting his balding head a little self-consciously Uncle Tom merely shrugged it off affably. "I could say the same for you Doctor, wearing it shorter these days I see."

"Yes well." The Doctor waved it off as he stepped into the room and shifted awkwardly under the scrutiny of the Osgood family.

"I do hope I'm not interrupting?" He added shooting a nervous smile in young Osgood's direction as she looked more than a little peaky for some reason. Perhaps she had indigestion, these humans were delicate creatures.

The twins at least were pleased to see him, straining with all their might against the plastic restraints the silly humans had put them in, little arms outstretched. Lowering his shields The Doctor sent them a mental greeting as he moved around the group, patting them both on the head and reinforcing his parental bond before approaching the silent Missy who hadn't so much as glanced up from the table top.

"I know I told you I wouldn't be five minutes." The Doctor joked, feeling his smile freeze awkwardly on his face until it was actually painful.

"But I'm afraid that the Tardis had other ideas and there was nothing I could do to shift her…I did try…" He added when Missy remained silent and unmoving. "Would it help if I said I was sorry?"

"For what exactly are you apologising dear?" Missy finally broke her silence but there was no hint of warmth in her tone, in fact it was positively arctic. "Do be specific."

"Ummm for everything." The Doctor hedged carefully watching as Missy's fingers seemed to close dangerously on her table knife.

Right that was clearly the wrong answer…

"For not telling you about River before, for not explaining properly when she called, for not promising you that it really is over between us, for leaving to go after her and not insisting you came so you could see for yourself I am telling the truth…" The Doctor trailed off, there was undoubtedly more but Missy was making him nervous as was this nagging sense he was missing something important.

"And that's all you're sorry for? Nothing else in particular?" Missy goaded him, a bitter smile pulling at her lips as she caught Osgood's pleading gaze, yet even for her human pet she could not contain the monster in her chest that was screaming for blood and retribution. "It figures."

"I am sorry for more but that's…well that's personal." The Doctor replied with an embarrassed glance at their rapt audience, reaching out and resting his hand on her shoulder. "Missy please…"

Yet that was the final straw.

One moment there was only the clue of cool fingers reaching up covering his own then a grip that was far stronger than it should be was hauling him forward.

Unbalanced and outplayed The Doctor was thrown into the dining table scattering tableware and glasses over the stunned Osgoods as Missy pinned The Doctor to the table and pressed her knife into his neck.

Staring up into the unhinged eyes of a vengeful The Doctor's realisation of just what he should really be apologising for came too late to be of any help and he cried out in pain as Missy's mind crashed against his own ripping gouges into his powered down mental shields. She tore through them like they were tissue paper, pouring her pain and anger down on him like an unrelenting onslaught of enemy fire.

Barely able to remember to breathe The Doctor did his best to duck and cover, yet it was futile, there was little room to hide in his own mind, there was nothing else to do but beg for mercy and hope it was forthcoming.

"Missy don't…stop…please…"

"My name Doctor… is The Mistress."

-/-


	18. Chapter 18

-/-

Osgood had been expecting an explosion yet expecting it she had still been too shocked to react when Missy suddenly flipped from quiet and tense to violent and unhinged. Unsurprisingly her Uncle Tom was the first to react, his years of army training kicking back in and he rushed to try and pull The Mistress off of his old friend.

That had Osgood moving and she flung herself at her Uncle before he could make the mistake of laying a finger of the raging Time Lady. Osgood's instincts proved right as they barely rolled out of the way of a sudden blast of laser fire, from a clearly homemade disrupter pistol that looked suspiciously familiar.

"What do you think…" Uncle Tom demanded his blue eyes flashing in betrayal and horror as his own niece seemed to be in league with this…this monster.

"Stay down." Osgood commanded him. This was a situation he knew nothing about and Osgood would try and stop it but preferably without turning The Mistress's ire onto members of her family.

The Doctor's screams were terrible to listen to, yet more distressing where the echoing cries of the twins and that had to be her advantage.

"Missy stop…you have to stop." Osgood raised herself slowly from the floor hands raised, not even certain that the Time Lady could hear her right now but knowing she had to try.

Reaching The Mistress Osgood reached and placed her own hand over Missy's hand that held the knife against The Doctor's throat, barely even flinching as the hand that held the disrupter snapped up and Osgood felt it jammed against her own racing heart.

"Please stop."

"No he deserves it!" Missy spat back, her pupils blown wide as if she was riding high on The Doctor's screams. "You know what he did."

"I know…" Osgood paused trying her best to catch and hold Missy's gaze.

"I know." She added softly when that wild look in Missy's eyes seemed to subside a little. "I wish that you wouldn't but I understand why you feel you have to….but not like this…Missy can't you hear them? Your children you're hurting them too."

It took a moment; The Mistress had been so blinded by her rage and the blood pounding in her head screaming for revenge that it took for Skip to mention it before the visual and mental cries of her own children pierced through the fog.

Oh…no…The Doctor's shields were down and his parental bond was active…Oh no…

Missy's mental assault stopped instantly and the combined screaming fell suddenly to pained panting from The Doctor and panicked cries from her children.

"Thank you." Osgood said softly, freezing slightly as icy blue eyes narrowed and pinned her in place.

"I didn't do it for you." Missy hissed before dropping her gaze to meet the pain clouded gaze of The Doctor. "And I didn't do it for you either!" Missy added digging the blunt knife deeper into his neck to emphasis her point.

"I know." The Doctor grunted out a response, his head was still spinning from her frenzied assault, it was as thought everything in his mind had been dashed about by some great storm and nothing was quite where it should be.

Yet there was no hiding from the gouging wounds that Missy had inflicted in his psyche, like a tornado she had laid waste to his mental landscape, her grief, anger and betrayal still resonating like a toxic coating that would continue to linger. She had been moments away from destroying him utterly and then she had stopped. Being so intimately connected at the time The Doctor had felt it all, how her anger gave way to horror, then the rush of maternal concern and…

"Stay out of my head Doctor!" The Mistress all but growled pushing away from The Doctor his disrupter held up to stop anyone from challenging her as she moved over to her crying children.

Whispering soothing words in their own language Missy nuzzled her babies, rubbing foreheads as she tried to calm them and dissipate the sharp spiky memories of first pain, checking their minds over carefully for any sign of damage. Mae was the one worse affected, her daughter's natural talent for mental contact had worked against her and Missy had her work cut out for her softening the edges of those memories, wincing as she realised just how much of The Doctor's attack they had actually felt.

"Are they alright?" The Doctor asked from over her shoulder, reaching out to touch his daughter's cheek, his pain only multiplying when Mae flinched away from him and began to cry again, burrowing her head into her mother's shoulder.

She was only an infant; all Mae knew was that it was her connection to him that had caused her such pain, she didn't know who or why only that the pain came from him. The Doctor knew that and yet his daughter's rejection and the stay away vibes he was getting mentally hurt worse than the torture Missy had subjected him to.

"They'll be fine." Missy retorted shifting awkwardly at having The Doctor at her back. "It's your own wellbeing you should be concerned with." She added turning around and pointing her disrupter at him.

Stepping back The Doctor's face fell, blue grey eyes pleading and full of despair. Running his hands through and tugging at his silver curls The Doctor stifled a scream of frustration, what was it with the women in his life and pointing weapons at him?

"Did you really think I was just going to let you get away with it Doctor?" Missy spat his name like a curse. "I trusted you, I put my very being into your hands and how did you replay me?"

"Koschei please I didn't mean…"

"To butcher me, to keep me in alive in that pathetic state…"

"You did that to yourself." The Doctor countered. "I had nothing to do with that."

"No you did nothing at all and that it the point Darling." Missy hissed. "I trusted you; I sent my essence to you….Dammit I even sent it registered delivery!"

"I know." The Doctor confessed the fight draining out of him, how could he argue, he was guilty and they both knew it. "I know and there are no excuses for what I did…or didn't do. I can only ask you to forgive me."

Hand shaking with suppressed rage it was probably only the child in her arms that stopped Missy from launching herself back at him and ripping him apart with her bare hands.

"Forgive you." Missy's voice bordered on the hysterical as she raised her disrupter and took aim. "There is no forgiveness for what you did there is only fitting punishment. Say goodbye Doctor."

"Missy no." Osgood spoke up, moving to place herself between The Mistress and her victim.

"Move Skip I will fire he deserves to die, I have no desire to kill you pet but if you stand between me and him then I will do so with barely a flicker of regret."

"I believe you." Osgood replied sadly. "But I am not asking for myself, if you really mean to do this I know no one could stop you, but don't make them watch Mistress…he's their father…haven't they been traumatised enough for one day? Surely you don't want them to have to suffer through that memory as well?"

-/-


	19. Chapter 19

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Not for the first time her pet human had a point.

If she were her normal self it might have irked Missy taking any sort of advice from a human. Still as she marched The Doctor into the utility room and shut the door firmly behind her, Missy made a mental note to offer to take Skip somewhere nice in The Doctor's Tardis later. Not as a thank you. Missy didn't do thankyous but she did respect and acknowledge debts.

She watched as The Doctor stopped in the confined space his shoulders slumped in defeat as he turned around to face his executioner. For a long moment their gazes held, The Doctor broken and defeated, The Mistress resolute and victorious.

"Go on then get it over with." The Doctor broke the tense silence opening his shirt, exposing the pale skin of his chest and kneeling down before her.

Missy stalked over pressing the dull knife to his chest as she debated between the slowly and messy approach or the quick and clean of her disrupter. Her hand resting over his hearts savouring the way they beat quickly because of her. "Any last words dearest?"

Catching her gaze The Doctor nodded, and when The Mistress magnanimously inclined her head for him to speak he began quiet and solemn. "I am sorry I hurt you Koschei and I forgive you…"

"Oh please not this again…" Missy huffed with a roll of her eyes, surprised when The Doctor reached up and covered her hand on his chest with one of his own, opening his fragile mind and allowing the truth of his words to wash over her.

"Do you think that will make me change my mind? So you're really sorry Doctor, you should be, that doesn't pardon you."

"I am not looking for pardon, I know you can't forgive me…what I did I did because I was a selfish coward. I wanted to keep you and I thought the only way I could was if you were human."

"So you admit it!" Missy seized on his confession with zeal. "You did it deliberately."

"I did." The Doctor wasn't proud of himself and he allowed her to feel his shame. "I couldn't bear losing you and I knew if you were yourself then you would never agree to stay with me in the Tardis. How many times had I asked you to travel with me, and how many times had you refused? I couldn't take the chance that you would refuse again, you and the twins were everything I had ever wanted, and I knew you would stay because you needed my protection."

"I stayed because I wanted to not because I needed or wanted your protection Idiot!" Missy spat in his face. "I stayed because for once it was my choice, mine! Not some pathetic offer you only ever dangle in my face when you want me to give up something else or to protect your pathetic humans. This time it was on my terms don't you get that? Not a consolation prize or a pathetic attempt of yours to martyr yourself for your beloved earth. For once there was no ulterior motive and I actually believed that you wanted me there for me."

"I did…I do…"

"No you wanted a simulacrum of me, a toy you could play with and control. Tell me Doctor did you get a kick out of my human self's pathetic attachment to you? When she told you she loved you did you feel anything other than contempt?"

Shaking his head The Doctor struggled to keep up with Missy's suddenly shifting mood. One moment he thought there was flicker of light, the next she was twisting his words and his intentions and plunging him back into the dark depths of her rage.

"It really doesn't matter thought does it Doctor, I mean when have you shown anything recently towards me other than contempt. I'm just the annoying little pest who once meant something to you but who keeps popping back up to bother you and your new friends. I should have gotten the hint centuries ago when you left me to burn but I guess I am just a slow learner when it comes to you. Well killing me is one thing, maiming me I could accept, turning down my hand of friendship I've come to expect, but knowingly keeping me trapped and playing house with a lobotomised version of me." Missy paused raising her disrupter and pressing against his temple.

"Now you have wasted enough of my time Doctor. If you have anything left to confess do so now because my patience is running thin."

Closing his eyes so that The Mistress wouldn't be able to see the despair and pain in them The Doctor recalled his previous intentions, picking up when he had left off.

"I do forgive you Koschei for what you feel you have to do. Please look after our children, keep them safe and tell them how grateful I am for them how they gave me a second chance to be a father, a chance I never deserved but am so grateful for… and please when you tell them about me remember to tell them how sorry I am not to be there to see them grow up and how much I…I love their mother."

Yanking her hand free Missy staggered back all but collapsing against the nearest unit the hand that had been resting against his chest and under his hand shaking, the knife falling from her trembling fingers.

"You complete…" Missy hissed blue eyes swimming with tears she refused to shed. "Of all the lies you could tell."

"I'm not lying Koschei not this time." The Doctor rose from his feet creeping towards her like she might bolt or lash out, both possibilities were likely and neither were desired.

"We may not know what human love really is, but we have come the closest I think of any Time Lords…I know I would go mad with grief if I ever lost you Kosch even without a bond, perhaps that is what it is for a Time Lord to love."

-/-


	20. Chapter 20

-/-

"Why are you doing this?"

Of all the reactions The Doctor hadn't been expecting tears, tears and a broken kind of silence from her of all people. The Mistress was fire and passion and chaos. She was blood and brilliance and now she was broken because of him.

"Is this just some new delaying tactic?" The Mistress rephrased her question staring deeply into The Doctor's eyes. "Another one of your tricks?"

"No." The Doctor insisted reaching up and cupping her cheek, not surprised when Missy flinched away from his touch. "Please just let me…" He pleaded lifting his other hand to cradle her face between his hands. "Just let me show you…"

Hesitant and wary The Mistress felt her skin burn under his touch, as his long strong fingers stroked along her cheekbones before sliding up to her temples. The buzz of his surface thoughts now grew in crescendo, yet unlike before this time The Doctor was willingly lowering what remained of his shields and welcoming her into his mind, this time he made no effort to try and hide or flee from her. The Doctor practically wrapped himself around her, preening and rubbing against her like a purring cat allowing the very feelings he had hidden from them both to slowly surface.

I've decided to stop running.

Missy didn't even attempt to hide her disbelief and contempt. The Doctor had always run, it was one of his defining characteristics. When things got tough, when he had to face up to consequences, he just didn't.

I'm facing them now aren't I?

One swallow doesn't make a summer as your little pets would say Doctor Missy's mental sneer didn't need to be heard, it had a life all of its own.

Yes they have lots of them The Doctor's amusement at The Mistress's choice of a human phrase to argue her point filled his mindscape, colouring everything in a warm amber glow; Besides every journey starts with a single step.

Your humans do so love to contradict themselves. It is a wonder you can rely on them to know their minds at all…something you and your pets have in common Doctor.

Instead of continuing the standoff The Doctor began to summon feelings and memories, slowly so as not to panic or bombard her with them. He could still feel The Mistress tense within his mental embrace as if preparing herself for an attack, yet when he made no attempt to breech her shields she relaxed slightly despite herself.

First he showed her his amazement, memories of times that her sheer brilliance had stolen his breath. Then his gratitude often for deeds The Mistress would have thought long forgotten about and where he had often been so focused on himself and his objective that The Doctor had never even paused to thank her. So he thanked her now, and felt even through her defences her surprise and pleasure.

Respect came next. For her tenacity and her perseverance, something that The Doctor knew was a distinct failing in himself. He had always been drawn to what was other the hill, the next planet, the next adventure and it meant that he rarely had the patience to see something through to the end. Whereas The Mistress, well some of her puzzle and plots had taken years, decades even to position all the pieces. If The Doctor had ever been forced to solve her puzzles using the same foresight that The Mistress used to plan them then he knew he would fail every time, he relied more on instinct, insight and circumstance to aid him. He was the hare, The Mistress the tortoise

Not the most flattering analogy Doctor.

Brushing aside her pique The Doctor caressed her mental shields treating Missy to a rare flash of desire, of pretending not to stare at her bare legs in his shirt, her swaying backside in that fitted armour. The hypnotic taste of her lips and the burning need inside him that part him still felt compelled to hide; that very ungallifreyan desire to join with her physically as well as mentally.

Then why didn't you?

Because of circumstances, because I was a coward afraid you would reject me. Then when I knew you wouldn't it didn't…It wouldn't have been right. The Doctor projected the feeling of wrongness he had felt when her human counterpart had kissed him. The desire was still there but it was tainted. It wasn't you and I could never forget that, not really.

So you did miss me?

Always The Doctor insisted reverently finally allowing the true depth of his affection for her to surface…the tenderness and fierceness with which she cared and protected their young…his own possessive satisfaction at this time being her mate…the shameful jealousy he had hidden over her first family…

You didn't hide it that well the first time. Missy remarked even as she gloated in the knowledge that she had not been the only one to resent having to share.

Then the joy, the relief he had foolishly squashed every time she returned to him, not just so that he would never be alone but the hope that this time…maybe this time they could find some way to make it work. I never ever want to be apart from you again Koschei The Doctor pleaded mentally tugging at her as though he could envelop her entirely and fuse them into one being through sheer longing.

Yet just when he thought he had shared too much, that The Mistress was simply going to turn and leave him to stew in his misery alone; those formidable shields of hers, the ones she had built so high that barely a whisper of her thoughts escaped without express permission, began to fall and for the first time since they were naive innocent children The Doctor was welcomed inside.

-/-


	21. Chapter 21

Author Note: There is a scene not posted on FFNet that precedes this chapter, it is of a mature nature and therefore does not meet the posting restrictions of this site. It is not essential to the plot but if you wish to read it then it is posted on the version of this story posted on A_R_C_H_I_V_E of O_U_R O_W_N

-/-

The door had barely closed behind the two Time Lords than her family was turning on Osgood again, some with accusations, some demanding explanations and some just joining in with wild theories of their own so they wouldn't be left out. Stacie was pontificating at length to anyone who would listen how her sister's preferences had put them all in danger.

"Stop it!" Osgood demanded reaching out and gathering up both of the twins who were still crying.

They didn't seem to want her comfort and Osgood couldn't help but feel so completely out of her depth but she couldn't just leave them to cry. "I didn't know this was going to happen when I invited her, and I keep telling you Missy is not my girlfriend Stacie! She is with The Doctor…"

"Considering she is about to off him in Mum's utility room I doubt that cements their relationship!" Stacie snarked back. "I can't believe it my little sister an accessory to murder we should call the police!"

"No police I am calling UNIT." Uncle Tom declared his blue eyes unnaturally cold when they looked at his once favourite niece. "I am very disappointed in you Petronella how can you just stand by and allow this?"

"You can't call them Uncle Tom…"

"Don't you dare tell me what to do Petronella." Uncle Tom snapped back. "I may be retired but I still out rank you and if you think I am going to stand by and do nothing whilst one of my most respected colleagues is murdered by some psychopath..."

"She won't kill him." Osgood insisted not sure where her confidence was coming from. "She won't." Osgood added when Uncle Tom shot her a dubious glare. "And she's not some psychopath, she's The Master."

Perhaps that was a revelation that Osgood would have been better keeping to herself?

"You…You brought that monster into our family?"

"Look it's complicated and I really don't think UNIT should be putting themselves in the middle of a Time Lord domestic and neither should we." Osgood sighed. "The Doctor won't thank you for it Uncle Tom."

"He wouldn't be able to if he was dead!" Uncle Tom retorted marching out into the hall. "So I will take the chance."

Short of wrestling her own Uncle to the ground there was nothing Osgood could do to stop him from doing what he felt was right. If Osgood thought it would do any good she would have tried to stop Missy herself but there was a limit to even her influence. Moreover she was certain Missy wouldn't actually go through with it…Osgood was 100% certain…well 90% sure…well she was almost 85%…

"Oh my god she's actually beating him to death!" Stacie suddenly exclaimed and the rest of the family were torn between horror and scurrying over to see for themselves.

Stacie had sidled over to the kitchen door, prising it open a crack so she could eavesdrop on her sister's psycho girlfriend. There had been a lot of tense talking unfortunately in a different language but a row was unmistakable even between aliens. Now there was the distinct sound of banging, of things being thrown to the floor…and was that cries of pain?

"He must be fighting back." Stacie commented.

"I don't think…" Aunt Becky began before the distinctive sound of a female moan loudly joined the chorus and the older ladies of the family looked at each other before quickly breaking their gazes, red blooming on their cheeks.

"Come away Stacie and shut that door this instant!" Mrs Osgood insisted ushering her very confused grandchildren out of the dining room and as far away from the kitchen and sounds of that nature as she could.

Blushing furiously herself Osgood tried to stifle her own relieved smile. She had known Missy wouldn't be able to go through with it; anybody else but not The Doctor, well not in this regeneration at least.

"And you can wipe that mucky look of your face Petronella!" Mrs Osgood snapped causing Osgood to look up in surprise. "Your father and I only just had those units fitted. If they break them I expect them paid for, at the very least they will need disinfecting."

Her mortification growing a hundred fold by the second Osgood followed her Mother through into the living room, settling the squirming twins down on her lap. At least they had stopped crying, Osgood hadn't noticed exactly when but she certainly had her suspicions, if they had picked up on The Doctors pain…

Honestly that was so cringe worthy Osgood couldn't even bring herself to articulate it and she could only hope that in the future the two Time Lords would take appropriate precautions, like soundproofing it really was only good manners. After all as much of an exhibitionist as Osgood knew Missy could be, she doubted even the Time Lady wanted her children mind dropping on their parent's sex life.

"Right UNIT are on their way!" Uncle Tom suddenly called out, returning to the family armed with an umbrella, before vanishing once more.

It took Osgood a moment to realise just why her Uncle might have the Umbrella, it wasn't raining outside.

"Oh no." Osgood exclaimed pushing the twins into her startled Aunt's arms and rushing after her poor Uncle who was about to burst in on something no human should see.

Osgood barely made the kitchen door when there was a sudden exclamation…

"OH My Goodness."

Pushing it open she reached inside and bodily dragged her horrified Uncle back by his collar, narrowly avoiding the blast of Missy's disintegrator which instead left a nasty black scorch mark on her mother's new kitchen units. Bundling him out of the kitchen before Missy could re-aim Osgood sighed in relief when they were not pursued by an irritated Time lady.

"But…but…" Uncle Tom was clearly in shock, he was still holding out the umbrella like it was a rapier, yet his face was completely white.

"I did try to warn you…Things are not like they used to be Uncle." Osgood began, surprised when her normally gentlemanly old Uncle Tom swore, and then carried on swearing in multiple languages; only stopping when he needed to draw breath.

"Uncle Tom! I know you had a shock but there is no call for language like that." Osgood spluttered, now convinced she was doomed to spend the whole of Christmas beat red. "Surely it's better than them killing each other?"

"There bloody well is." Uncle Tom huffed throwing his umbrella down and instead retrieving his abandoned glass of wine, down the glass of merlot in one gulp. "Now I owe Jo Grant a hundred quid."

Sharing a glance the absurdity and relief hit them both at once and both Osgood's burst out laughing; shaking with the force of it Osgood had to sit down, her stomach and sides aching with the effort. Joining her at the table Uncle Tom was able to contain his giggles long enough to refill his glass which he toasted to his teary eyed niece.

"Oh well all's well that ends well." Uncle Tom added, leaning back in his chair as Osgood continued to cry and laugh into her hands. "It could be worse…"

Osgood wasn't sure which happened first, the feeling of dread the foreshadowing or the sudden peal of sirens….UNIT had arrived.

-/-


	22. Chapter 22

-/-

"Of all the irresponsible…selfish…downright stupid stunts the two of you have pulled over the years this has to go down as the most outlandish and conceited…" Kate Lethbridge- Stewart was on a roll, this outburst had been a long time coming and after being dragged out of her home on Christmas day, to deal yet again with a pair of Time Lords that made her teenage children look responsible, she had finally reached her limit.

Leaning back and resting her head against The Doctor's shoulder The Mistress did little to hide her yawn. Stretching her cramping back out she rubbed her cheek affectionately against him like a cat fussing at her human pet. Whilst part of her was almost impressed by baby Lethbridge-Stewart's stamina and vocabulary the majority of Missy just wanted to crawl back into the Tardis and into her comfy bed….preferably with a certain Time Lord teddy to keep her warm.

Of course that would entail dealing with Kate who was standing between Missy and her cuddles right now, a very dangerous position for anyone with any sense, but since Lethbridge-Stewart was only human you couldn't expect sense from such a species…well there were always exceptions.

Osgood was proving herself quite useful to have around and Missy was wondering if she could persuade The Doctor to allow her to bring her human pet along with them. The live in baby-sitting alone would compensate for having a human underfoot and leaving their scent on everything. Plus Missy had already trained her and goodness knows The Doctor was terrible at making tea and well Missy could hardly be expected to make her own now could she.

Of course Kate would probably object. Another excellent reason for removing her from the situation…

Snuggling closer against her Doctor Missy's began sliding her hand strategically over his backside, smirking as he stiffened. Yet unsettling The Doctor was merely an added bonus, Missy's real prize was attempting to retrieve her homemade laser pistol from where The Doctor had snatched it from her after she had shot at Tom Osgood for the second time and stuffed it in his trouser pocket.

"I know what you are doing Missy." The Doctor muttered out of the corner of his mouth, trying his best to keep his expression contrite and serious whilst Kate lectured them, a fact made increasingly difficult by the joy that was bubbling up within him that wanted to escape by any means necessary.

"Can't I just kill her?" Missy whined low in The Doctor's ear. "Please love?"

"No dear." The Doctor insisted a renegade smile dancing across his lips at Missy's turn of phrase; softening the refusal by pressing a kiss to his lover's forehead.

He had tried more than once to interrupt Kate to assure her that he really was sorry her day had been interrupted but that he certainly hadn't called her and so surely he was only partially to blame. Yet every time he so much as opened his mouth Kate would start pointing and wagging her finger at him to emphasis whatever it was she was saying. Honestly after the first five minutes The Doctor had started to run some basic quadratic equations just to keep his boredom from showing…after all humans had no respiratory bypass system and Kate was bound to run out of breath sometime.

Huffing as The Doctor reached down and took hold of her wandering hand Missy wigged her fingers and slid them through his, running her thumb rhythmically against his. Well if he was going to deny her fun then Missy was just going to have to make her own. With a particularly mischievous smirk twisting her lips Missy used their lingering telepathic connection and pushed a blatantly explicit image against The Doctor's still barely raised and fragile shields.

Gnntwcccccccccctkfff

It was somewhere between a cough, a choke and a sneeze, The Doctor physically recoiled as though someone had come out of nowhere and punched him in the stomach. Still it was a reaction and Missy smiled on serenely, secretly amused.

"Doctor?" Kate finally took a breath and took a moment to pay attention to her previously captive audience. "Are you alright?"

"Yea…Actually no…No Kate I think I must have eaten something that disagreed with me…" The Doctor replied lying through his teeth, his stomach was fine; it was the rest of him that was suddenly all at sixes and sevens.

"I think its best we leave now… we have clearly outstayed our welcome…" The Doctor added his grip on Missy's hand tightening, on a human it would have been painful but the Time Lady's smirk merely grew as he practically hustled her out of the kitchen and into the living room where the Osgood clan were gathered surrounded by armed soldiers.

"Ah…" here The Doctor's confidence failed him somewhat.

The look of knowing disgust that Mrs Osgood was shooting first the abashed Doctor and then the wholly gloating and unrepentant Missy was enough to stop the Time Lord in the threshold whereas Missy swanned in boldly like she owned the place.

Cooing at her children who reached up pudgy hands from their place in Skip's lap Missy pressed kisses to their hands and then their little faces, shooting Stacie a smile that promised prompt retaliation before she proceeded to smother kisses all over her pet human as well.

"Missy stop…just…I know where that mouth has probably been!" Osgood protested, squirming and pushing away a sniggering Missy who planted one last wet smacking kiss on the girl's cheek just for fun.

"Please you know you love me really darling Skip! I know you'll miss me terribly but do try not to cry too much it'll make your face all blotchy." Missy teased ruffling the girls brown hair until it fluffed up into something resembling a cockatoo. "Now my little angels I hope they've been good."

"Unlike their parents they have been the perfect guests." Mrs Osgood commented dryly from her armchair where she sat with a fortifying sherry. "Tell me Doctor if that is even your real name is my kitchen still standing or am I going to have to replace it for the second time in as many months."

Reaching forward and ushering Missy and the twins towards the nearest exit The Doctor forced an apologetic smile on to his face. "It's still perfectly intact Mrs Osgood…." He paused at the doorway. "It might need a little sanding in places…"

"Too much information honey.."

Fleeing before the inevitable explosion the time family made it back to the Tardis, the door safely shut behind them Missy moved to strap the twins into their safety seats as The Doctor did his usual routine and flicked totally pointless switches and levers.

"Honestly Thete you do know that does nothing but flash the landing lights."

Frowning The Doctor flicked the switch back and then on again, eyebrows frowning deeply before shooting up in surprise. "I didn't even know we had lights." The Doctor muttered before his eyes flickered up to stare at his family across the console.

His family…whole and complete for the first time…The Doctor was half convinced he would suddenly wake up to find himself dreaming and once more alone on his Tardis. He was half tempted to pinch himself.

Tilting her head as she basked in The Doctor's gaze and undivided attention Missy was unusually composed and her smile was gentle. "What are you staring at Thete?"

A smile played about his lips The Doctor bit the nail of his thumb. "Oh just you."

"Flattery as well as declarations of love my you are on a roll today I must have hurt you worse than I thought." Missy retorted tartly, her confidence fading slightly as The Doctor's smile faltered for a moment and when it returned it looked more than a little forced.

"So back to the time vortex." The Doctor added with little enthusiasm his fingers reaching out for the dematerialisation lever, only stopping when a red tipped hand covered his own.

"Actually." Missy stopped him reaching out and punching in some new coordinates into the console. "Well there are two of us now and as long as we are careful…"

Squinting The Doctor took a moment to study the coordinates before a sudden pleased grin lit up his face. It was a small thing, probably as close to an apology as he would ever get from Missy for her earlier attack.

"Barcelona? With the dogs with no noses!"

"That's what the coordinates say idiot." Missy tutted rolling her eyes, already his enthusiasm was irritating her slightly but she supposed she could put up with it.

"But you hate Barcelona…there are too many people and it's a fun planet…"

"Are you trying to make me change my mind Doctor?" Missy asked reaching out to the keypad as if to change the digits.

"No!" The Doctor's hand shot out and covered hers, fingers closing and squeezing her hand gently. "No." He added gently reaching up with his free hand to tuck an errant curl behind her ear and stroke her cheek.

"So then…" Missy prompted and they moved their conjoined hands over to the dematerialisation lever, pressing it down together, the familiar sound of the Tardis dematerialising filled the air and the pair clung on to the handrail and each other.

Next stop Barcelona…and then…well the rest of the universe.

-/-


End file.
